i have been away for a bit (if you couldn’t tell)… The primary reason is that i’ve been working on a film. St. Anger (an album i’ve praised numerous times on this site) is an album that is seen by so many with repulsion. This film is one that charts not only my own love and appreciation for the album, but others’ love and appreciation for it as well. i know we are out there, even if it’s a small percentage of us.
The idea for doing it came as i was half joking around, saying i was going to make a documentary, and i got some encouragement to actually go through with it. Thinking i was going to be made fun of, i took a chance and announced this on the Metallica forums. There was a surprising amount of support for it.
Initially, i thought it was going to be 15 minutes of me ranting about how St. Anger needs to be respected, but what ended up happening was a deeper journey. Not only did i have to chance to begin to build positive relationships, but i also found out so much more about myself. Navigating this (new) world as an amputee, i still have anxiety about moving through the world. Despite having a history of making films and creating music, this encouraged me to push myself in ways i haven’t done in a long time.
i am so grateful to everyone who took the time to listen, to encourage, to critique and to participate. What ended up happening on film was 6 hours, but what happened beyond that will last a lifetime.
Yes… You read that correctly. 6 hours. Obviously, i don’t expect anyone to sit and watch this whole thing for six hours straight, so i am putting some ‘time stamps’, so folks know where they are, and where to go.
- Intro (0:00)
- Clint And Ethan Pt. 1 (2:48)
- The Journey/AJ/How This Came to Be (3:24)
- Jesse (25:22)
- Jordan (28:58)
- Mary B (33:42)
- Amanda (42:07)
- Nikos (46:25)
- Kirk/Sarah & Ralph (58:23)
- Nick (1:05)
- Richii (1:07)
- Christian (1:13)
- Rob/Lou (1:32)
- St. Anger For Life Pt. 1/Abhimanyu (1:41)
- Brandon (1:44)
- James/Andreas (2:28)
- Casey (:24)
- Kristen (11:41)
- Laura/Criticisms and Extras (1:41)
- Lars/The Songs (1:59)
- Poetry And Messages (2:41)
- St. Anger For Life Pt. 2 (3:05)
- Clint And Ethan Pt. 2.5 (3:08)
- End Credits (3:09)
Yes. Six hours. perhaps this will inspire others to make their own ‘love letters’ to St. Anger, or another beloved album. This film was a pure labor of love, with a $0 budget. i’m sure there were some mistakes that occurred (i DEFINITELY know there’s at least one. i mentioned early on that ‘Battery’ was the song in the final encore when i first saw the band, and it actually was the song before the final encore). i don’t have fancy equipment (nor am i the greatest musician on earth), so everything you see here, warts and all is again, coming from a place of great respect and appreciation- not only for the subject of this film, but everyone who contributed to this labor of love happening as well.
The interviews and segments range from the strictly musical to the more philosophical; i felt it was important to keep the flow of what people were saying with little interruption, so i chose to keep the full(er) interviews without breaks. There’s a mix of commentary, visual poetry, and music (all played by me… drums/percussion, keys, bass and guitar). While they are not exact replicas of anything, my audiovisual inspirations ranged from calls to the ancestors, to John Coltrane to Public Image Ltd. to bossa nova to avant garde cinema to of course, Metallica. i am sure i’m missing a lot of points i want to say; still i am incredibly grateful to have had this experience, and the opportunity to share it with you all. My hope is that you can listen and view with an open mind and an open heart. Perhaps you’ll learn some things; perhaps it will reignite some ideas you’ve already had.
(Almost) everything to be said about the wonderfulness of St. Anger, hopefully it’s here. Thank you for your time.
(Content Warning: Flashing lights, mentions of sexual assault, abuse, and suicide; photos with a bit of blood in them, as well as a leg that’s been amputated (no massive amounts of blood there, don’t worry).
Also, if you are interested in listening to music from the film, you can listen here.)