Monthly Archives: December 2023

BAD RELIGION (in F#m)!!!

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“We made a conscious decision, that in fusing our songs with these kinds of… to some people erudite;but I’d say higher consciousness, kinda nerdy type topics… was a way of stimulating conversation outside of the music venue. As I went on in my academic career I did that in science and in lecturing and places like that. And it gives me just as big a thrill to hear about these kids who come up to us all the time and say, you know, ‘I’m studying biology now because of a song that you wrote’, or ‘I’m gonna be a philosopher because of the song that you wrote.'”

Greg Graffin, 2013

Anyone reading this blog regularly knows that Bad Religion is one of my all-time favorite bands; i’ve actually covered them a couple of times (here and here). There are a few of the band’s positions i don’t particularly agree with (for starters, i am politically quite a bit more to the left than its members (if you can believe that); also, i am neither an atheist nor agnostic).  That said, while i believe a spiritual or religious practice is something that can be helpful or provide structure to one’s life, i also hold the belief that a secular society devoid of the toxic dogmatism that exists in some circles is a far more progressive and humanistic society. i am an advocate for science. Additionally, i do not hold the belief that evolution and nature (or even a belief in God (or a higher being)) are mutually exclusive. Even if one holds steadfast in a religious practice, asking constant questions should be crucial in that practice. 

The problem is that whether political, ideological or religious, some of the staunchest ‘believers’ refuse to ask questions. This is the ultimate proclamation of the band. Not all members of Bad Religion are even staunch atheists- there exists a spectrum of relative belief and non-belief in what society collectively holds as ‘God’. The statement is clear, even on their first album, How Could Hell Be Any Worse?:

It’s all right to have faith in god
But when you bend to their rules and their fucking lies
That’s when I start to have pity on you.

You’re living on a mound of dirt,
But you can’t explain your reason for existence
So you blame it on god.

So much hatred in this world and you can’t decide
Who’s pulling the strings
So you figure it’s god.

Your whole life foreshadows death
And you finally realize you don’t want to die alone
So you’ll always have god.

How we are meant to view (the specifically Christian interpretation of) God is based on individual perceptions and convenience. It is never consistent. 

While Greg Graffin exclaims he “ain’t no deist” in the song ‘Materialist’ from The Process Of Belief, there are the additional lyrics: “The process of belief is an elixir when you’re weak/
I must confess, at times I indulge it on the sneak.”

i hold pretty strong political positions. That said, while i don’t identify as a Marxist-Leninist or Stalinist i am a person who honors dialectical and historical materialism, therefore it would make little sense of me to not ask questions of even beliefs or ideologies i hold. This is how we progress in accordance to particular material conditions at any given time. Nothing about life is static. (And i do see a connection between religion/spirituality and revolution, since it is material by its very nature, despite hardcore religious folks choosing to leave that out).

Despite not being an atheist or agnostic, i think the questions the band asks (not only of themselves, but the listener) are extremely critical. One also doesn’t necessarily have to wholly agree with a band’s views to enjoy them- as long as those views are not harmful and inhumane. 

Additionally, the songs are well-crafted.
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The first BR (as they will herein and interchangeably be called) album i ever heard was No Control, and i immediately fell in love. The album was released one day before i turned 13, but of course, i heard it a few years later at the age of 15 or 16. i was an angry young punk kid back then, but i’ve always had an incredibly soft spot for harmonies, and always sang them to songs that didn’t have them. i used to also watch the Flipside-released concert a lot, where they did many of the songs from both their first (self-titled) EP, as well as their first album. 

When Graffin, in an interview with Rolling Stone in 1994 said that “(f)olk music usually has an emphasis on the lyrics and melody. And those lyrics are usually relevant in some way. And it’s populist in scope, which is also true of Bad Religion,” this makes total sense to me. He added, “So it’s more meant to draw some parallels between the two. And I think even my voice and my delivery can be thought of as a little bit folky.”

No Control satiated my desire to have music that was both critical of society, as well as carry impressive harmonies. It also further encouraged my love of reading, and the teenage me had to constantly pick up a dictionary or thesaurus, as the lyrics educated me on new words. i played that cassette what seemed like every day, among additionally getting their other albums. Their songs lent to various subjects i was passionate about at the time (and still am)- the Earth’s destruction due to human apathy, callousness and plundering of resources; fervent right-wing religious nationalism; and of course, the refusal to ask questions of the societies we live in, and the practices we partake in. 

And the palaces now stand where the coffins all were laid,
And the times we see ahead, we must glaze with rosy hues,
For we don’t wish to admit what it is we have to lose.
Millenia incoming, the modern age is here.
It sanctifies the future, yet renders us with fear.

As i was coming to actively resist was was taught to me, Change Of Ideas was a much welcomed song in my life. 
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Graffin, the band’s co-founder, lead vocalist and primary co-writer (as well as its longest-serving member in their 43-year existence) received a Bachelor of Science from UCLA, as well as a Ph.D in zoology from Cornell University. In addition to being in a punk band, he alternates as a professor and lecturer. i was not aware of this fact when i first got into his band, but in all my years of listening to them it makes absolute sense. 

He has written university-based dissertations, as well as several books which are a reflection of his humanist/naturalist ideas. While Do What You Want reflects on the collective joys and struggles of the band; Population Wars and Anarchy Evolution emphasize the connections between community, art and science. Punk Paradox, as a memoir, leans even more on the personal and contemplative. Even as, again, i am not a ‘nonbeliever’, his writing ropes you in and takes you on a journey. As a person who is a writer and loves writing… a lot (yet still struggles with the label); as a person who is a better writer than speaker; and as a person who is attracted to particular styles of writing (including the various ways people alter traditions of language), Graffin certainly has a way with words.

How he makes a connection between a mosh pit and the punk community and evolutionary biology in chapter 7 of Anarchy is incredibly compelling. In chapter 6 of Population he recounts a story of a woman sneezing close to him on a plane, utilizing this as an example of how population wars are also an internal, biological factor. He follows this with a fascinating experience he had visiting a cathedral in Cologne, Germany: “I may not “believe,” but I can respect the human achievement involved in the building of it, especially considering that work started in 1248, centuries before the first bulldozer or high-rise crane.” 

In a passage evocative of a BR lyric, he adds: “I stand next to a teenager speaking Spanish; he’s wearing cutoff shorts and a T-shirt that says “Hellfest 2013.” We are joined by a noisy gang of Americans, talking loudly about their visit to the Cathedral of the Saint John the Divine in New York last Christmas for a new-age music concert performed by Paul Winter. In fact, it seems that most of the visitors from distant lands were simply eager to marvel at the grandiosity of the building. I noticed, furthermore, that only a very small percentage of people who enter this “active place of worship” seem interested in any kind of traditional prayer or pilgrimage.”
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While all members throughout the history of the band have had a hand in co-writing a song or two, Brett Gurewitz has been the other primary songwriter, making him and Graffin, according to some, the ‘Lennon and McCartney of punk.’ While he took a leave of absence for a few years (focusing largely on running Epitaph Records (among other things)), his presence and influence has always been powerful. Gurewitz currently doesn’t tour extensively with the band but still creates with them. While Graffin’s pen game is indicative of his time and tenure as a professor (and evolutionary biologist), ‘Mr. Brett’ is no slouch when it comes to the five dollar words. His less than veiled nod to pop sensibilities and keen wit (plus slight sentimentality) are a perfect balance to Graffin’s biting sarcasm and folk influences.

The reason why Bad Religion are so effective as a musical and cultural entity/institution though, cannot simply be because of these two. Jay Bentley (who spent a bit of time in T.S.O.L.)’s effective, walking bass lines, as well as the positive energy he displays on stage and off can never be understated. Guitarists Brian Baker, Greg Hetson and Mike Dimkich (who have history in Minor Threat/Dag Nasty, Circle Jerks and the Cult respectfully- Hetson is no longer in BR) have given the band specific texture and layers that aren’t necessarily common among their peers; Jay Ziskrout, Pete Finestone, Bobby Schayer, Brooks Wackerman (whose roots are in jazz and currently plays with Avenged Sevenfold) and Jamie Miller are all important contributing factors to the drumming legacy of the band. While you can hear distinct personalities in each of them (particularly the longer-serving drummers); there is a simultaneous seamlessness that hasn’t been interrupted.

“When it comes down to it, songwriting is self-control. Most of what you spend your day doing, you have to throw away at the end of the day. It’s not good enough. You think it sounds cool, but it’s just not good enough. It’s hard work. It’s not fun. It can be torture, but when you get a song right it’s the most life-affirming thing. It’s pure elation.”

Greg Graffin

The other reason for the band’s effectiveness is because the lyrics display a significant timelessness. Despite a very thinly veiled cynicism overlooking the subject matter, there is also more than a glimmer of optimism. On The Gray Race (their second album from the Atlantic Records period), chapter 17 of Do What You Want describes Graffin stating in interviews that the album is “the band’s most emotional album.”

“Although it’s not a concept album, the title track serves as an organizing principle for the rest of the record. The gray race is the human species because we are the only species on the planet that can see things in terms other than black-and-white, e.g., fight or flight, kill or be killed, et cetera. Humans can perceive a middle ground that encompasses a wide range of emotions like love, empathy, kindness , and other altruistic impulses, i.e., the feelings that give life meaning. Despite this ability, our species continually creates systems that encourage (if not enforce) a black-and-white duality to existence that is responsible for war, sickness, starvation, and a host of other maladies that could be prevented if we worked together as a species. This album’s message is simple: either we have to create new ways of coexisting in the world or we are doomed to destroy one another.” 

It is here i will mention Paul Dedona (bass) or Davy Goldman (drums)’s contributions to the much-maligned second (album) release, Into The Unknown. Synth heavy, it was an incredible departure for the band to take, after releasing a seminal, heavily lauded inaugural album. i would personally compare this to the public’s unfavorable reception upon the release of Lou Reed and Metallica’s Lulu (and St. Anger, to a degree). And just like with those two albums, i actually really like Into The Unknown. While the band has performed a couple of the songs live within the past 10 or so years, the album seems to be largely ignored in their sets, from what i can see. 

The Todd Rundgren-produced The New America is another album that tends to be lower on peoples’ BR lists- including the band, based on their not-so-positive experiences with Rundgren (who was a childhood hero of Graffin’s) among other things. Bad Religion is one of those bands where i have all of their studio albums; at this point they have 17 of them. And like with Metallica, there are some albums i connect with more than others, yet i do not dislike any of them at all.
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Although i had covered a couple of their songs on this blog (as mentioned), and even suggested that a fuller post would be done in the future; it was a conversation i had with my friend Christian (who i discovered was a lover of BR as well) that inspired the actual idea to do it sooner than later. The seed that got the conversation with him was actually my last post, where i opined that a certain section of Metallica’s ‘Spit Out The Bone’ sounded like it would be welcome as a Bad Religion song. 

In the course of struggling to figure out which songs i was going to cover, an idea began to flourish. Knowing they downtune their songs live (as many do), i recognized that more than a few of them happen to be in my favorite key of all time: F sharp minor, or F#m. 

This has been my favorite key in the whole world since a child, but i had no idea what it was called until more recently, to be honest. i cannot read music, and i would not be able to play back a note if you asked me what it was- except this one, i suppose. i also cannot play a barre chord on the guitar to save my life, and apparently an F#m is difficult to play for many guitar players, from the little research i did. 

Now that i had a premise though, i had to choose a collection of songs. Initially i was going to play either the drums or bass (as usual), but i made the decision to go all out and deconstruct the songs in my own way- primarily in F#m. This is the first post i’ve ever done on this site, where all of the songs posted are with instruments completely played by me, from the ground up. There were a few late nights/early mornings spent in the St. Anger room, where jesse poked their head in occasionally to say hello. It intrigues me (and simultaneously makes me laugh) how there’s a whole room of instruments, and jesse has no inclination to play anything in it. i’m definitely interested in seeing more information on the science of humans who have no interest in playing and/or listening to music at all. 
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The first thing i realized in the middle of the process of choosing songs is the inevitability of this being a multi-part tribute to this band. They have too many great songs. i am not an advanced (jazz-based) drummer like Brooks Wackerman; i cannot give rousing solos like Greg Hetson; and my singing and writing skills are not as solid as Greg Graffin’s. But i still wanted to do it.

Because i love this band. 

One of my favorite things about this band is the harmonies, so i wanted to honor them in this way as well. i opted for trying a ‘Golden Shower Of Hits’ (if you will) via an a capella medley: ’True North’ (True North); ‘Better Off Dead’ (Stranger Than Fiction); ‘Only Rain’ (The Dissent Of Man); ‘My Poor Friend Me’ (Recipe For Hate); and ‘Slumber’ (Stranger Than Fiction).

One thing i will say about recording vocals is that singing through random and sudden physical pain (and occasional internal amputated limb itching that you cannot scratch) is interesting. i am not the greatest singer either, so among the ‘Oozin’ aahs’ you will hear some voice cracks, and some ‘interesting’ notes. 

In the Rolling Stone issue mentioned above, Graffin also said this: “We actually try to keep opinions out of it, usually. Our music is just based on relevant issues, that’s all I can say. Politics are all about getting people to think your way. It’s subtle or sometimes overt coercion, and that’s the opposite of what Bad Religion are all about.” While they didn’t necessarily talk consistently about specific political parties in their music at the time of the interview, i’ve always seen the band’s content as being staunchly political, as everything we do is informed by politics. Environmentalism and a heavy critique on right wing cristofascism are indeed political subjects.

That said, in terms of the common perception people have when it comes to ‘politics’, the band were also pretty decisive in their wrath for the Bush and Trump administrations specifically, and made songs (and you could say albums) barely concealing said wrath. Evidence of this altered trajectory over the years was made from Brett Gurewitz in 2019: “In this time of tribal nationalism, dissent, as a form of political speech, is vital to democracy.” In 2016 one of the t-shirts repping the ‘Vox Populi’ tour had a not-so favorable position on both Trump and Hillary Clinton- a position i definitely agree with the band on. I tend to have a rule on not wearing t-shirts of tours i have not seen (and it’s hard to catch a show of theirs since they tend to sell out immediately), but this is the one occasion i can think of, in terms of breaking that rule.  i saw BR for the first time ever this year actually, at the Download Festival (in the UK). There were only a handful of bands i wanted to see (Metallica, The HU and Soul Glo were among the three i caught out of the handful, but i missed most of them based on how inaccessible the area was… While i HEARD THEIR SET from the outside, I MISSED MUNICIPAL WASTE- BOOOO); Bad Religion were added pretty soon before the festival to replace The Distillers. Things were made better when i ended up meeting these men from Nottingham, who were also massive BR fans. We all danced and screamed the lyrics together and celebrated life- one of the men was a cancer survivor. 

i’m speaking of this because The Empire Strikes First is, for all intents and purposes, a decisively political album (in the way politics is usually addressed- the song ‘Let The Eat War’ even includes the overtly political Sage Francis (who was also an artist on Epitaph around this time)). 

The album’s cover is interesting, because while it is an image of a man with praying hands, his hands also look bomb-like.

My favorite Bad Religion song of all time as i write this is ‘To Another Abyss,’ which comes from this album. While it is ultimately a song that can be read as a critique of the effects, dynamics, machinations and inhumanity of imperialist war; i also see it as a mini-treatise of sorts, conveying the feeling of living in a place which is incongruous to pretty much everything you stand for ideologically, politically and humanistically; this place you reside (and were most likely born in) is not home, and it ultimately never has been home. 

This actually was not an easy song to sing. i have so much respect for Mr. Graffin and his vocal abilities. It just seems so effortless for him. 

i did vocals (obviously), and played bass, guitar, drums and keys. 

The Process Of Belief is generally seen by the community of fans and admirers as the band’s ‘return to form’; it is also their first album released on Epitaph in nine years (since Recipe For Hate), as well as the point we see Brett Gurewitz’ return as a full member of the band, plus the introduction of Brooks Wackerman. While it is indeed one of my favorite albums from the band, i don’t see their other albums as any less. 

‘Bored & Extremely Dangerous’ (the album’s closer) is a heartbreaking song. While it wasn’t nonexistent, the current pervasiveness of the conversation and questions regarding ‘men and boys being left behind, contributing to their isolation and lonliness,’ incels, school/etc. shooters and the like were not as common in 2002 (when this album was released). The lyrics are succinct, and while the song is simultaneously a critique of the human subject in the song and the pernicious culture which births such humans; it is also a very empathetic reading:

A room and empty shelf
A book on mental health
I look for inner wealth
By punishing myself
I’m bored to the extreme
This world of foolish dreams
Disillusion
I am not who I seem to be
Yeah sure I might do harm
And bare my right to arm
RETRIBUTION
If only someone would listen to me
Listen to me

This song is interesting in that it pulls a King Crimson (Or early post-Genesis Peter Gabriel, or something musically similar) and places a bunch of experimental and environmental sounds and echoes in the middle of the song, for about a minute. When they’ve done the song live, Greg Graffin (who has three solo country and folk-influenced albums, which i also have) performs the song on acoustic guitar, while the second half is the whole band, electrically. 

i love punk music so much. Your favorite punk bands don’t only listen to punk music. If this were the case, it wouldn’t be particularly interesting as a whole. 

i of course, did not include this experimental part when i covered it, and arranged it in a way where the song (hopefully) flows without it. i played bass, vocals, drums, and some (messy) power chords on the guitar. 

‘American Jesus’ (from Recipe For Hate) was a song i always wanted to cover, but i wasn’t sure how i was going to address it. i can play the opening riff on guitar- to me, it is one of the greatest riffs of all time- but i cannot play it consistently at 182 BPM, which the song is, without immediately messing it up. 

Given the subject of the song, i wanted to open (and only open) with a church organ sound. What ended up happening was that the keys were the thing to drive the song, and i was able to play the riff fast in that way. In the end, the song (ironically, perhaps) ended up sounding similar to what a band like T.S.O.L. would do… or maybe Catholic Discipline?  

Bad Religion, again, musically contributed to a conversation that was not as pervasive (though still existent) as it is now, back in 1993. Christian nationalism is very real (to the point where hardcore evangelical folks in the U.S. now find Jesus… JESUS- to be too liberal. i mean, if you actually take what was written about Jesus literally, the man waged a praxis of socialist principles. The fact that there are people who consider themselves Christians, yet are opposed to the teachings of someone they claim to worship and consider God… This should tell you a lot about the driving principles and ideologies of this country). 

If i was suddenly dropped into a random city in the U.S. without any knowledge of its customs, i’d certainly think wholly negatively of Christianity. How it’s generally performed and perceived here (and spread around the world) is incredibly traumatizing and isolating to anyone on the political and social margins. 

About the song, when i first heard it it reminded me solidly of the Ramones, so of course in the cover i did i had to give a little nod. i sang (of course) and played keys, bass and drums. 

While i was working on the cover i was messing around, and found some pretty cool effects, and playing the ‘American Jesus’ riff reminded me of Kraftwerk. i also added a djembe effect. Pictured in the photo montage are a few of the instruments Kraftwerk used over the years: a Vako Orchestron, a prototype of the Synthanorma sequencer, a Minimoog, and a Maestro Rhythm King (MK-1). It’s a fairly meditative song, in comparison to all the punk you just heard. 

This post is dedicated to my fellow lovers of Bad Religion: Bryan, Christian, José, the men from Nottingham, and Chris.

And your name here. 

Metallica Fridays (no. 36): Finding Joy Out Of The Smaller Things (no. 8, 932)

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Every single member of Metallica has specific quirks that are associated with them. Rob (with his skateboarder style) has the ‘crab walk’ and stomp, Kirk lifts his arms up and smiles in between songs; he also has his beloved wah pedal. James, with his wide stance, sometimes shimmies. All of these things i love to see; that said, i always love watching Lars Ulrich when he plays. Getting up after every song, snapping and yelling “That’s right!” has definitely become a part of his personality, but i love watching him do that because (as seemingly the band’s biggest cheerleader) it’s as if every song is an accomplishment. This is inspiring to me as a person who plays drums, not only because Lars is my greatest musical inspiration; i have to also remember that even though i am not the greatest player, just getting to the drums (or any instrument) and playing is an accomplishment. Learning a song is an accomplishment, even if it’s not played in the same way as the original song. 

Even learning that i am able to somewhat ‘decently’ sing the ‘crushing metal’ portion of ‘My Apocalypse’ (my favorite part of the whole Death Magnetic album- those lyrics are something i have actually experienced and survived) in a 1.5 speed a few times before totally messing it up is an accomplishment.

i always cherish moments like these, because they’re not always there- sometimes on the same day. Most days i learn to manage (where no one would even know if i’m in the middle of an episode), and some days it’s a chore to even get through the day. 

i’ve spoken about my experience with depression on here quite a bit, as well as my connection with the 72 Seasons album. ’Too Far Gone?’ is a song i fell in love with instantly when i first heard it at the world premiere at the theater, as its lyrics spoke to me deeply:

I, I am tribulation
Digging down to the bone
I, I am agitation
Never leaves me alone
Keep on, push it along
Don’t want to feel this
Sink in, start to believe
That I don’t exist

You’ve begun to spend your life internalizing so much of the trauma you experienced in life on some level, even if you’ve healed from the surface of it. Sometimes you self-medicate; sometimes you harm others, and sometimes you harm yourself. As you identify with this trauma (whether consciously or not) you consider yourself to be at the point where you can’t be redeemed, and you just live with it. ’Too Far Gone?’ reads as a cry for help on one level, and a prayer on another level (as several songs on the album do). 72 Seasons is perhaps Metallica’s best sequenced album- this song is followed by ‘Room Of Mirrors’– and ‘Too Far Gone?’ reads as a perfect meditation on finding the will to experience one more day, even if your brain and body are telling you the opposite. 

Never too far gone
I’m never too far gone to save
I can make it through the day

Make it through the day

Just for today

While i have always found connection with the song, it was not until September 14, 2023 when i was moved to tears. 

The band premiered ‘Too Far Gone?’ months before at Metlife Stadium (the same place i had the opportunity to meet Rob, Kirk and Lars). Footage from this show ended up being used in a reworked video accompanying the song. In addition to this live footage were shots of Curitiba, Brazil-based Felipe Nunes, a young man who became a double-leg amputee as a child (due to a train accident). His skills developed as he initially used the board as transportation. Tony Hawk became one of his biggest supporters, and Nunes eventually represented as a member of the Birdhouse crew (which is led by Hawk).

When i watched this video (which was directed by Coan Buddy Nichols), i cried.

The video could have taken the ‘inspiration porn’ route, but it was incredibly smart not to. Far too many people who not move through the world as a physically disabled person look at someone like Felipe Nunes and say, ‘This man has no legs; I better stop saying I’m having a rough day, because look at him! He has it harder than I do, and he doesn’t let that stop him from being amazing!’ People mean very well when they say things like that, but there’s a fine line between admiration and condescension. It is okay to acknowledge we all have rough days, whether or not we have a disability. 

The video was incredibly moving because it highlighted Nunes’ struggles, as well as his accomplishments. It highlighted him moving through the world as an amputee in an ableist society. Amputees (and other folks with apparent disabilities) tend to be thought of as ‘brave’ or ‘noble’ when simply getting through their day, or doing things they love. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone who is not disabled finding inspiration or admiration but again, there is a fine line. i cannot speak for everyone, but it feels incredibly patronizing when i’m considered to be ‘special’ just because i get out of bed and move through the day. It’s really not that special- in fact, it’s incredibly difficult to do sometimes. Quiet as it’s kept, it’s not too far along the spectrum as someone who says they don’t know if they would even be able to survive if they became an amputee.

The best thing to do are two things: talk to folks who have varying ranges of disabilities (both physical and non) to understand that not all experiences are monolithic, and advocate for building a society that is available to accommodate all bodies and needs. 

As a person who skated in my younger days (and stopped in my 20s, which is still relatively early), the video had me once again missing skateboarding. One of my favorite moments in life is meeting Steve Olson, but i digress. The humanistic way in which Nunes was visually weaved into the narrative of the song (plus the band’s acknowledgement of folks in the deaf community (as they made ASL-themed videos of all their songs from 72 Seasons)) gives me a greater level of respect for the band. 

i was in an incredible amount of physical pain playing this song (as well as the other song featured in this post), but i pushed through it. i accomplished it. And this is why i smile when i play, and every time i end a song.

Remember that we are never too far gone to ask for help, or reach out, no matter where we are in life, or what our physicality is like.

As anyone who regularly reads this blog knows (and thank you by the way); even though i love all the songs, the ones i choose to play for each post are those i’ve connected to in that moment. Lars once again was the inspiration for choosing to play ‘Spit Out The Bone’ here, the final song on …Hardwired To Self-Destruct. The sequence that opens and closes the song is one of my favorite Lars sequences/fills, and i’ve always loved watching him play on this song (and was incredibly happy to see the band do it at their 40th Anniversary show); but it’s always a song i struggled with, and (obviously) still do. That said, i’m a bit better at it than i was when i made attempts to play it last year. It was pretty bad. i don’t think Lars has ever been one to regularly practice rudiments; they admittedly are not something i practice every day, but i can tell you that getting some rudiments in has helped in being better at songs like this one. This song (as with many of the band’s songs) is not necessarily that easy to do with one leg (and an eternally swollen and weak foot/ankle on the remaining leg). As a person who is right handed i also had to learn to adapt and play similar to a left-handed player, as my right leg isn’t there. It is a whole new language that i am still in the process of learning and getting used to. Sometimes i think that situation is ‘too far gone’ (if you will), but i make due and work around it. 

There are so many excellent sections of this song- too many to mention. Metallica songs are like mini books within themselves, with chapters that take you on a journey. One section i will mention is one of the riffs within the bridge… It is the riff that introduces the “Stop breathing/And dedicate to me” line. Amid the narrative of the catastrophe that unchecked technological advances can bring, there is this beautiful riff (and its harmonies) that moves me to tears. 

So of course i played it on repeat, because that is what i do. And as i was listening and taking in its beauty i realized that there increasingly are riffs coming from Metallica that remind me of another one of my all-time favorite bands, Bad Religion. i’ve never heard Metallica citing Bad Religion (who laid the groundwork for skate punk and some iterations of pop punk) as an influence at all, despite them both being birthed in Southern California around the same time, and despite Kirk and James being heavily into skating in the 80s. Still, a few of the riffs and harmonies emerging from this later era of Metallica (specifically since Hardwired) don’t seem too estranged from, in my view, one of the greatest punk bands (and bands in general) to exist. 

i am absolutely loving it, even if most folks (including the band) may not agree. 

Aside from all that, i suppose this has turned into another ‘Thank you Lars’ post. He will never read this, but i still want to acknowledge how he has inspired me to find acceptance of the accomplishments, even if they’re not perfect. Because in all the moments of pain, i still accomplished something.

That’s right. 

Metallica Fridays (no. 35): Playing Through The Pain

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Currently, i am doing my best to find joy out of the things that make me happy; these things may appear small or insignificant to many, but they are things that keep my brain from going to undesired places- photographs of hands, a peanut in the mouth of the bluejay i saw yesterday; cats… Anything with cats.

And of course, playing music. Sometimes though, your brain is in another space as you are trying to play, and you just cannot seem to get anything right. This post is about one of those days.

If you’re new to this blog, welcome! One thing you must know is that every post i make is about a journey, and not every one is going to be perfect. i am far from the greatest musician, and i make a lot of mistakes; but playing music is definitely one of my ‘happy places’.

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It is amazing that we are at 35 posts, regarding this journey i’ve taken in learning (and playing) Metallica songs to the best of my ability. There are players far superior than me in general (so really, an extra thank you for taking time out of your day and checking out this site)- and despite whatever criticism he gets, Lars Ulrich’s style is not as easy as people think it is. You may be able to ‘play the part’, but he has a particular accent in the drummer’s language that isn’t easy to imitate. While not the most complex, he is one of the most musical drummers i’ve heard, not unlike many a jazz drummer (which i’ve mentioned several times on this site). i think one of the reasons why Metallica is so connective as a band, is because so much of what they do is based around percussion and rhythm. As much as i love Kirk Hammett’s solos and leads (as well as his rhythm work, which he doesn’t get enough credit for), it wasn’t until i began playing their songs on the drums, when i really began to listen to what James Hetfield (as the rhythm guitarist) was actually doing…. because i ended up playing to what he was doing, both on the guitar and vocals. As his style is very percussive, it has been very helpful.

While he is my greatest musical inspiration (and while there are a few cues i use), i don’t particularly play like Lars. i don’t think the point should be to play like him. The more i make these posts though, the more i appreciate why Lars does what he does.

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A few days before this post (December 3) i received notification reminding me that i saw Metallica 32 years ago, in Buffalo, New York. It was the first leg of the Wherever We May Roam tour; i had just turned 15, my favorite song in the whole world at the time was ‘Battery’, and my favorite album was Master Of Puppets. While i very clearly remember some things that occurred at that concert and throughout the night; a lot of it has become a blur to my 47-year old brain. One thing i do remember is the scream i let out when ‘Battery’ came on during one of the three encores. i could have exploded of happiness the moment i heard that opening riff, but i guess i would have missed the song if that happened.

In commemoration of the excitement i felt at that moment 32 years ago- marking it as one of the first ever concerts i’ve been to as well- i decided to play ‘Battery’ on the TAMAs. It’s honestly one of my favorite songs to play on the drums. It’s also got my favorite ever Lars Ulrich fill of all time, which he does variations of several times in the song.

The posts i do are inspired by the songs i am emotionally connected to at the moment, and vice versa.

Within the past week i was listening to ‘Chasing Light’, and i began to cry. i had a similar emotional connection to it upon first hearing it at the theatrical world premiere. It particularly resonated with me this week, because i’ve been struggling internally in ways that aren’t easy to discern right now. Living with depression is much easier when you can trace a particular source of the episode, because you are better able to manage it.

Like many of their songs, this one also can have various interpretations, depending on the listener. For me, it reads doubly as a message regarding both the material and immaterial. It works as a gospel song (for those who turn to a higher power (whether they are called God, Allah, Yahweh, etc.), or the wisdom of the ancestors for guidance). It also works under the utilization of music as a tool and force for healing. i see it as a sibling song to ‘Lux Æterna’ in a way.

In the material sense, i see it as James Hetfield being a little less internal with his writing; it is a little connection in understanding that there have been so many alongside his own journey who have also struggled just as he has, whether they be friends, acquaintances or appreciators of his art. If he can’t speak to everyone personally, ‘Chasing Light’ is his message of encouragement during those troubling times.

Chase that light, lean on me
Face that fight, lean on me
Catch your fall, lean on me
End it all, lean on me
Struggle on, ’cause without darkness
Without darkness, there’s no light

i also see ‘Chasing Light’ as an unspoken number 4 in the ‘Unforgiven’ series.

Ooh, lost his way through wicked streets
But he is someone’s little boy
Oh, all the love a young one needs
Thoughtless elders have destroyed

It is destroyed
He’s just a boy

Healing from trauma (whether child or adult-oriented) is a lifetime of work. No one should ever do it alone.

This song is a perfect example of how percussive James’ playing is. There are things in this song (which was co-written by Kirk) that were accented; while Lars played it pretty straight on some parts, i followed the guitars.

While this song resonates with me on a spiritual and emotional level, my brain somehow did not receive the message. Whenever i’d press record, something would go wrong: there was the time i recorded a pretty decent take on video but forgot to record the drums; the end of the video cut out at the end (like you see in the video below); i played the song over and over and could not seem to get it right- but of course when the record button was off it was better. It’s just another chapter in the book called my life. It could be a case of the universe not wanting me to do the song, no matter how helpful the song is to me in this time.

i cannot tell you. i decided to post this anyway, even with all the glaring mistakes. Because this is a journey. An imperfect journey with an imperfect body. A body with a currently aching back, one leg and a weak remaining foot with edema that plays the kick drum. In the darkness of my brain, there is light in the music.

Without darkness, there’s no light.