i have never been a good singer, but i have always loved doing it.
Ever since i was a child, music was always in my system. i wrote my first song when i was 8 years old, and not too soon after that i was co-creating songs with my sister (who was a far better singer than i). The more i began to write and listen to music, the more i became attracted to harmonies and background singing, to the point i thought i wanted to do it professionally… even though i know i would never be hired.
i loved harmonies almost as much as i loved the drums. No matter the song or genre there was always, as the Buzzcocks song states, a harmony in my head (i will not let the irony slip that there’s a certain (popular) Bad Religion song with an uncannily similar bridge/middle 8 riff). It got to the point sometimes where i’d tune out the lead parts.
When Bad Religion came into my life as a teenager, it felt like a wonderland. Despite being an angry punk kid (screaming and ‘singing’ in punk and indie bands), and even as i agree with the sentiment that punk is a type of folk music; i’ve never been an aggressive singer. My vocals would probably fall more in line with a more ‘traditional’ folk sensibility. i always wished i could scream like the greatest hardcore singers, or sing as smooth or effortlessly as Luther Vandross or Phyllis Hyman, but the universe did not deal me that hand. i’m not sure exactly what the universe gave me, but i deal with my limitations in the best ways i can. Like everything else in life. ————————————————————————————————————————-
Greg Graffin was the first person whose vocals i ever fell in love with (The second person is Mahmoud Ahmed). There are plenty of singers whom i’ve loved (and continue to love) over the years; however, it wasn’t a particular Bad Religion album, but their performance at the Olympic Auditorium in 1984 (which was the Flipside fanzine-released concert that i had a copy of on VHS as a teenager) that grabbed the depths of my heart. It was like, you could be a punk kid and not have to scream. Graffin’s vocals subsequently improved (obviously), but there was something in his vocals on that video that grabbed me- the occasional vibrato, or the penchant for utilizing harmony as a lead voice. There was the simultaneous roughness and vocal fry, with the warmth and musicality not common among his peers. i loved the songs (which is why i got the tape), but i was primarily fixated on the vocals- which is a rare occurrence for me, as i am more of a lyrics person than anything else.
Besides James Hetfield, Graffin is my favorite rock singer, if you can call him that. As a teenager i wasn’t aware of his choir training (or his other musical interests) as a youth, but in retrospect it’s easy to see the approach he utilizes as a vocalist stems from some of that training. When talking about range and dynamics, there tends to be a greater focus on belters or screamers. Very few people i’ve seen cover BR’s songs (including myself) don’t particularly have the range he has. ————————————————————————————————————————
In terms of figuring out what songs to do for this post… i couldn’t. It was too difficult. They have too many songs i love, so i decided to pay respect to their whole catalog: yes, including Into The Unknown, an album i absolutely adore. i do not care what Brett Gurewitz or anyone else says- this album is among the top 3 of my favorite BR albums. Not only was it (at least to me) an incredibly sincere response to the increasing violence and machismo in the punk scene, but it also symbolized a lot of what musically inspired them, even if those inspirations were not apparent on their first EP and album (Bad Religion and How Can Hell Be Any Worse?, respectively). The band should not be ashamed at all of that album. The rough production belied the great work that it actually is. It also birthed the trajectory of where the band’s harmonic sensibilities lie.
If the band’s albums collectively sounded consistently like the first one; as much as i love that album, Bad Religion certainly would not be one of my all-time favorite bands. They certainly do have a dependable formula which has contributed to their success (not unlike the Ramones or AC/DC); but as much as they’ve collectively derided the album over the years (Gurewitz in particular), it is the experience of Into The Unknown that led them to the path they decided to trudge, for better or worse. It is possibly with this understanding that they’ve played select songs from the album in more recent years (including a surprise 2021 performance).
Yes, i do have an original copy of this album, and i am very happy. It is an amazing album and no one can tell me otherwise.
While i love the band’s whole catalog (including the (again) second album, as well as all of the Atlantic Records period), i had to be a bit scientific in terms of what songs i chose. i combed through the catalog with the understanding that i could probably sing harmonies to every single one of these songs, but would i be able to sing the lead? What significance or impact do these particular songs have in my life, enough for me to want to do them? Could i make them the least bit interesting?
Like the last post, i decided to arrange many of the songs in F#m (F sharp minor), which was not that easy of a task, especially when utilizing the higher ranges of my voice. The only thing i can say is that i hope i was respectful.
The songs chosen for this medley were:
Anxiety (No Control)
Generator (Generator)
The Voracious March Of Godliness (No Substance)
Time And Disregard (Part III) (Into The Unknown– My favorite song on the album)
Million Days (Into The Unknown)
Only Entertainment (Generator)
The Handshake (Stranger Than Fiction)
What It Is (Stranger Than Fiction)
Pride And The Pallor (The Dissent Of Man)
Individual (Stranger Than Fiction)
God’s Love (The Empire Strikes First)
Recipe For Hate (Recipe For Hate)
The Profane Rights Of Man (The Age Of Unreason)
Pessimistic Lines (Suffer)
Inner Logic (Stranger Than Fiction– This album is probably also in the top 3 of my favorite BR albums, i seem to have done a lot of songs here)
Part II (The Numbers Game) (Suffer)
Kyoto Now! (The Process Of Belief– a top 5 BR song for me)
Don’t Sell Me Short (The New America– This is in the top 3 of my favorite BR songs)
Get Off (Against The Grain)
Nobody Listens (The Gray Race)
Nothing To Dismay (True North)
Old Regime (The Age Of Unreason)
Vanity (True North)
52 Seconds (New Maps Of Hell)
After i compiled the songs and put them in the order i was going to do them, i played drums as a skeleton for the medley (versus the other post, where i did the vocals first). The medley consists of just me playing drums, and doing a bunch of vocals (i’m not as great of a singer as Greg Graffin, but i hope it’s again, respectful to the band and their wonderful albums).
If you are an appreciator of Bad Religion, you perhaps noticed that the medley above contained every album except for the first- and you would be correct, because i decided to do full band covers of a couple of songs.
My favorite song from How Can Hell Be Any Worse? is actually ‘In The Night’, but for this post i decided to cover the classic ‘We’re Only Gonna Die’ (or its alternately named full title, ‘We’re Only Gonna Die (From Our Own Arrogance)’. For some reason i decided to make it extremely fast, so given i’m not that great at guitar as it is, i wasn’t even going to attempt to play it here. Instead, i just layered the track with two basses- one doing ‘regular’ bass duties, and the other plugged into a Big Muff. It also wouldn’t be a proper Bad Religion cover without a tribute to Graffin’s random pointing. i probably didn’t point enough, to be honest. i’m horrible.
(A lot of people talk about the Sublime cover of this song being the quintessential one. i disagree (homeboy)- the best rendition of this song (outside of the original) is the Biohazard cover… and not even that touches the original. Ironically, i played it as fast as the Sublime version.)
We shall round out this post with another top 3 song (and a fan/appreciator favorite), ‘Along The Way’. Considering this song to be “as close as (he) ever got to being religious,” Graffin wrote the lyrics in memory of his dear friend Tommy George. The song is up there with ‘Maureen’, my favorite Sade song. Both songs are simple, yet effective.
Both songs are close to my heart, and remind me of one of my closest friends, Barry Hampton, who physically transitioned in February of 2011. He was my rock in the midst of turbulence. i miss our late night conversations, and his moving through the world with an absence of fear. It’s difficult to develop solid/substantial friendships in this day and age (especially being an amputee), so i cherish every moment. After i recorded the song i said to myself, ‘i should have replaced ‘Tommy’ with ‘Barry”; the sentiment is still the same.
i also kept things to the double-layered bass, drums and vocals, but the Gibson 2019 SG tribute makes the briefest of appearances. i am in no way, shape or form Greg Hetson, so i’m not even going to attempt doing a Hetson-level solo. That said, i wanted to add a tiny bit of something, even if it’s not a mindblowing solo. And besides, it’s a BR cover; and putting the SG somewhere makes sense.
This post is dedicated to Derek and Andreas- i hope i did alright.
“We made a conscious decision, that in fusing our songs with these kinds of… to some people erudite;but I’d say higher consciousness, kinda nerdy type topics… was a way of stimulating conversation outside of the music venue. As I went on in my academic career I did that in science and in lecturing and places like that. And it gives me just as big a thrill to hear about these kids who come up to us all the time and say, you know, ‘I’m studying biology now because of a song that you wrote’, or ‘I’m gonna be a philosopher because of the song that you wrote.'”
Greg Graffin, 2013
Anyone reading this blog regularly knows that Bad Religion is one of my all-time favorite bands; i’ve actually covered them a couple of times (here and here). There are a few of the band’s positions i don’t particularly agree with (for starters, i am politically quite a bit more to the left than its members (if you can believe that); also, i am neither an atheist nor agnostic). That said, while i believe a spiritual or religious practice is something that can be helpful or provide structure to one’s life, i also hold the belief that a secular society devoid of the toxic dogmatism that exists in some circles is a far more progressive and humanistic society. i am an advocate for science. Additionally, i do not hold the belief that evolution and nature (or even a belief in God (or a higher being)) are mutually exclusive. Even if one holds steadfast in a religious practice, asking constant questions should be crucial in that practice.
The problem is that whether political, ideological or religious, some of the staunchest ‘believers’ refuse to ask questions. This is the ultimate proclamation of the band. Not all members of Bad Religion are even staunch atheists- there exists a spectrum of relative belief and non-belief in what society collectively holds as ‘God’. The statement is clear, even on their first album, How Could Hell Be Any Worse?:
It’s all right to have faith in god But when you bend to their rules and their fucking lies That’s when I start to have pity on you.
You’re living on a mound of dirt, But you can’t explain your reason for existence So you blame it on god.
So much hatred in this world and you can’t decide Who’s pulling the strings So you figure it’s god.
Your whole life foreshadows death And you finally realize you don’t want to die alone So you’ll always have god.
How we are meant to view (the specifically Christian interpretation of) God is based on individual perceptions and convenience. It is never consistent.
While Greg Graffin exclaims he “ain’t no deist” in the song ‘Materialist’ from The Process Of Belief, there are the additional lyrics: “The process of belief is an elixir when you’re weak/ I must confess, at times I indulge it on the sneak.”
i hold pretty strong political positions. That said, while i don’t identify as a Marxist-Leninist or Stalinist i am a person who honors dialectical and historical materialism, therefore it would make little sense of me to not ask questions of even beliefs or ideologies i hold. This is how we progress in accordance to particular material conditions at any given time. Nothing about life is static. (And i do see a connection between religion/spirituality and revolution, since it is material by its very nature, despite hardcore religious folks choosing to leave that out).
Despite not being an atheist or agnostic, i think the questions the band asks (not only of themselves, but the listener) are extremely critical. One also doesn’t necessarily have to wholly agree with a band’s views to enjoy them- as long as those views are not harmful and inhumane.
Additionally, the songs are well-crafted. ————————————————————————————————————————
The first BR (as they will herein and interchangeably be called) album i ever heard was No Control, and i immediately fell in love. The album was released one day before i turned 13, but of course, i heard it a few years later at the age of 15 or 16. i was an angry young punk kid back then, but i’ve always had an incredibly soft spot for harmonies, and always sang them to songs that didn’t have them. i used to also watch the Flipside-released concert a lot, where they did many of the songs from both their first (self-titled) EP, as well as their first album.
When Graffin, in an interview with Rolling Stone in 1994 said that “(f)olk music usually has an emphasis on the lyrics and melody. And those lyrics are usually relevant in some way. And it’s populist in scope, which is also true of Bad Religion,” this makes total sense to me. He added, “So it’s more meant to draw some parallels between the two. And I think even my voice and my delivery can be thought of as a little bit folky.”
No Control satiated my desire to have music that was both critical of society, as well as carry impressive harmonies. It also further encouraged my love of reading, and the teenage me had to constantly pick up a dictionary or thesaurus, as the lyrics educated me on new words. i played that cassette what seemed like every day, among additionally getting their other albums. Their songs lent to various subjects i was passionate about at the time (and still am)- the Earth’s destruction due to human apathy, callousness and plundering of resources; fervent right-wing religious nationalism; and of course, the refusal to ask questions of the societies we live in, and the practices we partake in.
And the palaces now stand where the coffins all were laid, And the times we see ahead, we must glaze with rosy hues, For we don’t wish to admit what it is we have to lose. Millenia incoming, the modern age is here. It sanctifies the future, yet renders us with fear.
As i was coming to actively resist was was taught to me, Change Of Ideas was a much welcomed song in my life. ————————————————————————————————————————
Graffin, the band’s co-founder, lead vocalist and primary co-writer (as well as its longest-serving member in their 43-year existence) received a Bachelor of Science from UCLA, as well as a Ph.D in zoology from Cornell University. In addition to being in a punk band, he alternates as a professor and lecturer. i was not aware of this fact when i first got into his band, but in all my years of listening to them it makes absolute sense.
He has written university-based dissertations, as well as several books which are a reflection of his humanist/naturalist ideas. While Do What You Want reflects on the collective joys and struggles of the band; Population Wars and Anarchy Evolution emphasize the connections between community, art and science. Punk Paradox, as a memoir, leans even more on the personal and contemplative. Even as, again, i am not a ‘nonbeliever’, his writing ropes you in and takes you on a journey. As a person who is a writer and loves writing… a lot (yet still struggles with the label); as a person who is a better writer than speaker; and as a person who is attracted to particular styles of writing (including the various ways people alter traditions of language), Graffin certainly has a way with words.
How he makes a connection between a mosh pit and the punk community and evolutionary biology in chapter 7 of Anarchy is incredibly compelling. In chapter 6 of Population he recounts a story of a woman sneezing close to him on a plane, utilizing this as an example of how population wars are also an internal, biological factor. He follows this with a fascinating experience he had visiting a cathedral in Cologne, Germany: “I may not “believe,” but I can respect the human achievement involved in the building of it, especially considering that work started in 1248, centuries before the first bulldozer or high-rise crane.”
In a passage evocative of a BR lyric, he adds: “I stand next to a teenager speaking Spanish; he’s wearing cutoff shorts and a T-shirt that says “Hellfest 2013.” We are joined by a noisy gang of Americans, talking loudly about their visit to the Cathedral of the Saint John the Divine in New York last Christmas for a new-age music concert performed by Paul Winter. In fact, it seems that most of the visitors from distant lands were simply eager to marvel at the grandiosity of the building. I noticed, furthermore, that only a very small percentage of people who enter this “active place of worship” seem interested in any kind of traditional prayer or pilgrimage.” ———————————————————————————————————————-
While all members throughout the history of the band have had a hand in co-writing a song or two, Brett Gurewitz has been the other primary songwriter, making him and Graffin, according to some, the ‘Lennon and McCartney of punk.’ While he took a leave of absence for a few years (focusing largely on running Epitaph Records (among other things)), his presence and influence has always been powerful. Gurewitz currently doesn’t tour extensively with the band but still creates with them. While Graffin’s pen game is indicative of his time and tenure as a professor (and evolutionary biologist), ‘Mr. Brett’ is no slouch when it comes to the five dollar words. His less than veiled nod to pop sensibilities and keen wit (plus slight sentimentality) are a perfect balance to Graffin’s biting sarcasm and folk influences.
The reason why Bad Religion are so effective as a musical and cultural entity/institution though, cannot simply be because of these two. Jay Bentley (who spent a bit of time in T.S.O.L.)’s effective, walking bass lines, as well as the positive energy he displays on stage and off can never be understated. Guitarists Brian Baker, Greg Hetson and Mike Dimkich (who have history in Minor Threat/Dag Nasty, Circle Jerks and the Cult respectfully- Hetson is no longer in BR) have given the band specific texture and layers that aren’t necessarily common among their peers; Jay Ziskrout, Pete Finestone, Bobby Schayer, Brooks Wackerman (whose roots are in jazz and currently plays with Avenged Sevenfold) and Jamie Miller are all important contributing factors to the drumming legacy of the band. While you can hear distinct personalities in each of them (particularly the longer-serving drummers); there is a simultaneous seamlessness that hasn’t been interrupted.
“When it comes down to it, songwriting is self-control. Most of what you spend your day doing, you have to throw away at the end of the day. It’s not good enough. You think it sounds cool, but it’s just not good enough. It’s hard work. It’s not fun. It can be torture, but when you get a song right it’s the most life-affirming thing. It’s pure elation.”
Greg Graffin
The other reason for the band’s effectiveness is because the lyrics display a significant timelessness. Despite a very thinly veiled cynicism overlooking the subject matter, there is also more than a glimmer of optimism. On The Gray Race (their second album from the Atlantic Records period), chapter 17 of Do What You Want describes Graffin stating in interviews that the album is “the band’s most emotional album.”
“Although it’s not a concept album, the title track serves as an organizing principle for the rest of the record. The gray race is the human species because we are the only species on the planet that can see things in terms other than black-and-white, e.g., fight or flight, kill or be killed, et cetera. Humans can perceive a middle ground that encompasses a wide range of emotions like love, empathy, kindness , and other altruistic impulses, i.e., the feelings that give life meaning. Despite this ability, our species continually creates systems that encourage (if not enforce) a black-and-white duality to existence that is responsible for war, sickness, starvation, and a host of other maladies that could be prevented if we worked together as a species. This album’s message is simple: either we have to create new ways of coexisting in the world or we are doomed to destroy one another.”
It is here i will mention Paul Dedona (bass) or Davy Goldman (drums)’s contributions to the much-maligned second (album) release, Into The Unknown. Synth heavy, it was an incredible departure for the band to take, after releasing a seminal, heavily lauded inaugural album. i would personally compare this to the public’s unfavorable reception upon the release of Lou Reed and Metallica’s Lulu (and St. Anger, to a degree). And just like with those two albums, i actually really like Into The Unknown. While the band has performed a couple of the songs live within the past 10 or so years, the album seems to be largely ignored in their sets, from what i can see.
The Todd Rundgren-produced The New America is another album that tends to be lower on peoples’ BR lists- including the band, based on their not-so-positive experiences with Rundgren (who was a childhood hero of Graffin’s) among other things. Bad Religion is one of those bands where i have all of their studio albums; at this point they have 17 of them. And like with Metallica, there are some albums i connect with more than others, yet i do not dislike any of them at all. ————————————————————————————————————————
Although i had covered a couple of their songs on this blog (as mentioned), and even suggested that a fuller post would be done in the future; it was a conversation i had with my friend Christian (who i discovered was a lover of BR as well) that inspired the actual idea to do it sooner than later. The seed that got the conversation with him was actually my last post, where i opined that a certain section of Metallica’s ‘Spit Out The Bone’ sounded like it would be welcome as a Bad Religion song.
In the course of struggling to figure out which songs i was going to cover, an idea began to flourish. Knowing they downtune their songs live (as many do), i recognized that more than a few of them happen to be in my favorite key of all time: F sharp minor, or F#m.
This has been my favorite key in the whole world since a child, but i had no idea what it was called until more recently, to be honest. i cannot read music, and i would not be able to play back a note if you asked me what it was- except this one, i suppose. i also cannot play a barre chord on the guitar to save my life, and apparently an F#m is difficult to play for many guitar players, from the little research i did.
Now that i had a premise though, i had to choose a collection of songs. Initially i was going to play either the drums or bass (as usual), but i made the decision to go all out and deconstruct the songs in my own way- primarily in F#m. This is the first post i’ve ever done on this site, where all of the songs posted are with instruments completely played by me, from the ground up. There were a few late nights/early mornings spent in the St. Anger room, where jesse poked their head in occasionally to say hello. It intrigues me (and simultaneously makes me laugh) how there’s a whole room of instruments, and jesse has no inclination to play anything in it. i’m definitely interested in seeing more information on the science of humans who have no interest in playing and/or listening to music at all. ———————————————————————————————————————-
The first thing i realized in the middle of the process of choosing songs is the inevitability of this being a multi-part tribute to this band. They have too many great songs. i am not an advanced (jazz-based) drummer like Brooks Wackerman; i cannot give rousing solos like Greg Hetson; and my singing and writing skills are not as solid as Greg Graffin’s. But i still wanted to do it.
Because i love this band.
One of my favorite things about this band is the harmonies, so i wanted to honor them in this way as well. i opted for trying a ‘Golden Shower Of Hits’ (if you will) via an a capella medley: ’True North’ (True North); ‘Better Off Dead’ (Stranger Than Fiction); ‘Only Rain’ (The Dissent Of Man); ‘My Poor Friend Me’ (Recipe For Hate); and ‘Slumber’ (Stranger Than Fiction).
One thing i will say about recording vocals is that singing through random and sudden physical pain (and occasional internal amputated limb itching that you cannot scratch) is interesting. i am not the greatest singer either, so among the ‘Oozin’ aahs’ you will hear some voice cracks, and some ‘interesting’ notes.
In the Rolling Stone issue mentioned above, Graffin also said this: “We actually try to keep opinions out of it, usually. Our music is just based on relevant issues, that’s all I can say. Politics are all about getting people to think your way. It’s subtle or sometimes overt coercion, and that’s the opposite of what Bad Religion are all about.” While they didn’t necessarily talk consistently about specific political parties in their music at the time of the interview, i’ve always seen the band’s content as being staunchly political, as everything we do is informed by politics. Environmentalism and a heavy critique on right wing cristofascism are indeed political subjects.
That said, in terms of the common perception people have when it comes to ‘politics’, the band were also pretty decisive in their wrath for the Bush and Trump administrations specifically, and made songs (and you could say albums) barely concealing said wrath. Evidence of this altered trajectory over the years was made from Brett Gurewitz in 2019: “In this time of tribal nationalism, dissent, as a form of political speech, is vital to democracy.” In 2016 one of the t-shirts repping the ‘Vox Populi’ tour had a not-so favorable position on both Trump and Hillary Clinton- a position i definitely agree with the band on. I tend to have a rule on not wearing t-shirts of tours i have not seen (and it’s hard to catch a show of theirs since they tend to sell out immediately), but this is the one occasion i can think of, in terms of breaking that rule. i saw BR for the first time ever this year actually, at the Download Festival (in the UK). There were only a handful of bands i wanted to see (Metallica, The HU and Soul Glo were among the three i caught out of the handful, but i missed most of them based on how inaccessible the area was… While i HEARD THEIR SET from the outside, I MISSED MUNICIPAL WASTE- BOOOO); Bad Religion were added pretty soon before the festival to replace The Distillers. Things were made better when i ended up meeting these men from Nottingham, who were also massive BR fans. We all danced and screamed the lyrics together and celebrated life- one of the men was a cancer survivor.
i’m speaking of this because The Empire Strikes First is, for all intents and purposes, a decisively political album (in the way politics is usually addressed- the song ‘Let The Eat War’ even includes the overtly political Sage Francis (who was also an artist on Epitaph around this time)).
The album’s cover is interesting, because while it is an image of a man with praying hands, his hands also look bomb-like.
My favorite Bad Religion song of all time as i write this is ‘To Another Abyss,’ which comes from this album. While it is ultimately a song that can be read as a critique of the effects, dynamics, machinations and inhumanity of imperialist war; i also see it as a mini-treatise of sorts, conveying the feeling of living in a place which is incongruous to pretty much everything you stand for ideologically, politically and humanistically; this place you reside (and were most likely born in) is not home, and it ultimately never has been home.
This actually was not an easy song to sing. i have so much respect for Mr. Graffin and his vocal abilities. It just seems so effortless for him.
i did vocals (obviously), and played bass, guitar, drums and keys.
The Process Of Belief is generally seen by the community of fans and admirers as the band’s ‘return to form’; it is also their first album released on Epitaph in nine years (since Recipe For Hate), as well as the point we see Brett Gurewitz’ return as a full member of the band, plus the introduction of Brooks Wackerman. While it is indeed one of my favorite albums from the band, i don’t see their other albums as any less.
‘Bored & Extremely Dangerous’ (the album’s closer) is a heartbreaking song. While it wasn’t nonexistent, the current pervasiveness of the conversation and questions regarding ‘men and boys being left behind, contributing to their isolation and lonliness,’ incels, school/etc. shooters and the like were not as common in 2002 (when this album was released). The lyrics are succinct, and while the song is simultaneously a critique of the human subject in the song and the pernicious culture which births such humans; it is also a very empathetic reading:
A room and empty shelf A book on mental health I look for inner wealth By punishing myself I’m bored to the extreme This world of foolish dreams Disillusion I am not who I seem to be Yeah sure I might do harm And bare my right to arm RETRIBUTION If only someone would listen to me Listen to me
This song is interesting in that it pulls a King Crimson (Or early post-Genesis Peter Gabriel, or something musically similar) and places a bunch of experimental and environmental sounds and echoes in the middle of the song, for about a minute. When they’ve done the song live, Greg Graffin (who has three solo country and folk-influenced albums, which i also have) performs the song on acoustic guitar, while the second half is the whole band, electrically.
i love punk music so much. Your favorite punk bands don’t only listen to punk music. If this were the case, it wouldn’t be particularly interesting as a whole.
i of course, did not include this experimental part when i covered it, and arranged it in a way where the song (hopefully) flows without it. i played bass, vocals, drums, and some (messy) power chords on the guitar.
‘American Jesus’ (from Recipe For Hate) was a song i always wanted to cover, but i wasn’t sure how i was going to address it. i can play the opening riff on guitar- to me, it is one of the greatest riffs of all time- but i cannot play it consistently at 182 BPM, which the song is, without immediately messing it up.
Given the subject of the song, i wanted to open (and only open) with a church organ sound. What ended up happening was that the keys were the thing to drive the song, and i was able to play the riff fast in that way. In the end, the song (ironically, perhaps) ended up sounding similar to what a band like T.S.O.L. would do… or maybe Catholic Discipline?
Bad Religion, again, musically contributed to a conversation that was not as pervasive (though still existent) as it is now, back in 1993. Christian nationalism is very real (to the point where hardcore evangelical folks in the U.S. now find Jesus… JESUS- to be too liberal. i mean, if you actually take what was written about Jesus literally, the man waged a praxis of socialist principles. The fact that there are people who consider themselves Christians, yet are opposed to the teachings of someone they claim to worship and consider God… This should tell you a lot about the driving principles and ideologies of this country).
If i was suddenly dropped into a random city in the U.S. without any knowledge of its customs, i’d certainly think wholly negatively of Christianity. How it’s generally performed and perceived here (and spread around the world) is incredibly traumatizing and isolating to anyone on the political and social margins.
About the song, when i first heard it it reminded me solidly of the Ramones, so of course in the cover i did i had to give a little nod. i sang (of course) and played keys, bass and drums.
While i was working on the cover i was messing around, and found some pretty cool effects, and playing the ‘American Jesus’ riff reminded me of Kraftwerk. i also added a djembe effect. Pictured in the photo montage are a few of the instruments Kraftwerk used over the years: a Vako Orchestron, a prototype of the Synthanorma sequencer, a Minimoog, and a Maestro Rhythm King (MK-1). It’s a fairly meditative song, in comparison to all the punk you just heard.
This post is dedicated to my fellow lovers of Bad Religion: Bryan, Christian, José, the men from Nottingham, and Chris.
i have been wanting to do this post for the past few months; but like i wrote in the last post, life got in the way. To most people who may know or have heard of them, Mudhoney (who is among the top 5 of my favorite bands) may not seem to be a member of the pantheon of punk, but they have definitely inspired me as an angry punk kid. Similar to how David Lovering and Hugo Burnham (of the Pixies and Gang Of Four respectively) inspired my drumming; Mudhoney were the first band to make me want to pick up a guitar as a teenager. i even got a Big Muff pedal back then, to go with my black Peavey stratocaster with the white pick guard. i never achieved guitar greatness back then (and of course, i still haven’t), but i hoped to achieve the modicum of energy displayed within those grooves, and on their Charles Peterson- photographed record covers.
They say to never meet your heroes, but my experience has tended to contradict this saying on a few occasions.
i remember it fairly well- it was June 15, 1995. i was around 18 years old. The band played at Irving Plaza (in NYC) on tour for their album, My Brother The Cow. i was doing a fanzine at the time called The Dissonant Accost, and Julie Cafritz (who i was friends with at the time) introduced me to Steve Turner and Mark Arm, the lead and rhythm guitarists. i ended up interviewing them for the zine, and taking some photos on the stage. i no longer have a physical copy of the zine, but i hold that moment (and the fact that these people i looked up to took the time out to humor a kid like me) in my heart.
i would end up seeing both Mark and Steve whenever i’d visit Seattle from New York (especially when they’d play a show), and also when i ended up moving to the northwest. i’d hang out with Steve (and his cat friend) at his house occasionally when i rolled through town. i eventually lost contact with them (even though, interestingly, Steve and i lived in the same city for a while, and even knew some of the same folks).
i never thought i would ever see or talk to them again; and even if i did i didn’t think they would recognize me, especially since i am now an amputee.
On October 28. 2023 Abby (who shares a similar love for this band as i do, and who i was in my first ever band with) went with me to see Mudhoney (with Hooveriii opening) at Le Poisson Rouge (in NYC). We went to the section reserved for wheelchairs (which is usually a space also reserved for the soundboard and/or instrument cases); Mark Arm was standing next to me, watching the opening band. i tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he remembered me, and he did! We shared a hug, and i told him my story of getting hit by a truck and losing a leg. i asked Steve the same, and he said he did remember me (as we gave each other a hug), but i have to chuckle as i don’t think he actually remembered me, which is understandable. He did tell me he saw me dancing during the show.
i didn’t even get to tell him that i enjoyed his book, Mud Ride.
While they were the ones who inspired me to pick up a guitar, the drums are my first love. If i feel like i could never get to the level of Mark or Steve as a player, i can’t even imagine to get near even a quarter of the greatness of Dan Peters. Despite him barely if ever being mentioned on lists of greatest drummers, he is easily on the top 10 for me. The man’s snare rolls are quick and razor sharp. And while they are primarily known for being a guitar-based band, Matt Lukin and Guy Maddison’s bass lay a foundation that would be severely missing if they weren’t there.
Mudhoney are one of those few bands where i currently have all of their albums; that said, there was a time where i owned almost all of their 45s, 12″ non-album cuts, special pressings, etc. as well. While i don’t have most of those records anymore, i did end up buying back the albums years later. Mudhoney get limited to the ‘grunge’ category, but no one band lumped into that category even sounds alike. While i generally enjoy all the bands that tend to be categorized on this level, they and the Melvins are the two bands i did gravitate towards the most. Mudhoney do for all intents and purposes hold a punk ethos creatively (and even in subject matter at times), but they carry on a similar trajectory as Don Van Vliet as much as they do for the Stooges, MC5 and the Sonics, as they are also shaped by the blues in their sound. Their major label period (on Reprise/Warner) seemingly carried on the torch from Captain Beefheart pretty well- as they were picked up in the haze of ‘Nirvana mania’ their music was actively resisting the current. Associated bands like Bloodloss carried this torch even more specifically.
Mudhoney, to me, are one of the last remaining counterculture bands of their generation.
There were a few songs i played when i regularly played guitar many moons ago (such as ‘Need’); Abby and i also, in our second band (called The Second Day) covered Mudhoney. These days, playing guitar is like starting over, and i haven’t retained much. In a very slow manner i am learning how to play in the ‘traditional’ way; as for now, i pretty much play everything by ear and have developed a particular style of my own (as i know the way i play is far from correct).
Even as i was planning to make this post months ago, i hadn’t thought about what songs i actually wanted to do. As i was playing around for last week’s post i started playing some semblance of a Mudhoney song and thus, further inspiration was born.
(And of course, while i’m not a fan of piling on the pedals i will always have a place for the Big Muff.)
It was incredibly difficult to choose a set of songs to pay tribute to, so i kind of went the ‘random selection’ route. For this post, i will begin with a song from their latest album, the wonderful Plastic Eternity. Continuing the satirical and sneering look at human interaction with modern life (plus a song about the love of little dogs), the album contains antifascist and anti-consumerist anthems. ‘Human Stock Capital’ is one of the few songs i’ve heard that addresses labor exploitation under this most recent pandemic.
One of the things i appreciate about the band’s website is their Emergency Room: The Covid Diaries series. Bassist Guy Maddison is also a Registered Nurse (RN) at a trauma center, and the podcast spoke directly with other Registered Nurses and medical workers who told their stories about life under the roughest waves of the pandemic.
As a person who was considered an ‘essential worker’ in the midst of this rough wave, the song is something that is identifiable. As i survived a traumatic accident, then stayed in the trauma wing of the hospital for two months during the pandemic, i think the podcast is enlightening.
(i am just playing bass for this song; there’s also some graphics included, with some statistics/messaging.)
Coming from the Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge era, ‘You’re Gone’ is one of the original 12″s i kept (before selling a bunch of my collection to move to the west coast; Superfuzz Bigmuff was another original i kept), reminding me of how inflation has also effected record prices- whenever i bought that record, it was only $3.99.
‘You’re Gone’ also ended up being released on the 30th anniversary of Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge, so now i have both of them. The bassline is incredibly fun to play, proving once again how foundational this instrument is.
When i first heard ‘Judgement, Rage, Retribution And Thyme’ (my favorite Mudhoney song of all time, and is a solid example of how the blues also shapes/influences their sound) i thought the riff was reversed, as opposed to being played with a slide. i did play the song with a slide here, but as a tribute to my original thought i actually did play the intro backwards (with a slide), then reversed it.
This sounds nothing like the original (again, i am not a great musician), but this is my humble tribute to a great song. While there are people far superior to me in terms of playing music; i was thinking about it, and to me, the greatest tribute one can do for a band is actually getting up and playing, and being the best you can be in that moment.
(i am playing drums, bass, guitar and vocals here.)
‘Next Mass Extinction’, from an equally crucial chapter of the Mudhoney catalog, Digital Garbage; is for me, a certified headnodder. Never disappointing us with that sardonic wit, it transitions into a psychedelic instrumental jam, rounding it out with the main theme.
The general feeling one would get when listening to a majority of Mudhoney songs is hopelessness, cynicism and pessimism. Within that surface ultimately is a glimmer of optimism. This doesn’t apply to everyone but for many of us, a critique of systems is rooted in the belief that once what oppresses us is uprooted, life will be better for us all.
The band also finds joy in the small things, like dogs. And skating.
From the band’s first full-length (self-titled) album, ‘Running Loaded’ has one of my all-time favorite riffs. i fell in love with it ever since i first heard it- for all i know, it may have been the thing to inspire me to want to pick up that guitar.
But alas, i’m just playing bass here.
And finally, we have another song from My Brother The Cow… except it was on the 45 that came with the vinyl version of the album- the CD (which i also have) has an unlisted track at the end, which is the album backwards save the first two songs, which actually led me to think all those years ago that the opening song was backwards!
‘West Seattle Hardcore’ is part of a set of short songs about bicycle seats, beer and random banter from altered voices and keyboard pings. It’s the kind of thing that will leave someone scratching their head when they imagine Mudhoney to be associated with ‘grunge,’ but something like this is honestly not surprising if you follow their music. It’s also part of the pattern of the (as mentioned earlier) Reprise period specifically, where they made music as beautifully ‘unlistenable’ as possible as they could make it.
i love this band so much.
Of course, being the punk kid that i am, i had to make my cover of the song a little more literal. Mostly inspired by D.R.I. (with bands like Gorilla Biscuits and Reagan Youth for good measure- i mean, i’m from New York… what can i say), i played all the instruments and did the vocals.
i mean nothing but respect. Also, i’m not a musician, so i do what i can.
(This blog post is dedicated to Abby, the biggest Mudhoney appreciator i know- besides myself)
It has been SIX MONTHS since i last posted here, which has been interesting, since this has been a major vehicle for me to deal with a lot of my fears and anxieties. Amid this break from posting i experienced massive bouts of depression (at one point calling the 988 hotline), ended up getting covid (and was out for a month), and saw Metallica a few times (and meeting all of the members, which was all a series of surprises). i did play drums a couple of times during the break from posting, but it was just a few minutes, just to let them know i didn’t forget about them. i’ve also been writing music, but it’s mostly been recording some guitar parts from a mini Epiphone Les Paul into a phone, and banging drum ideas on a desk.
It was such a release to sit and actually play and record SOMETHING. Playing drums is definitely my ‘happy place’.
To commemorate the cessation from such a long break, i figured i would do something i always do when introducing a new chapter- play ‘Blackened’, my favorite ever Metallica song of all time. ‘Blackened’ was the first Metallica song i ever learned on drums- first on the Octopad, then on the Alesis Surge set… and now on this post, i am playing them on the TAMAs. There’s some clear things i’ve kept over the years, but it’s fascinating to see how my playing evolved on the song. Whether or not i got better at it, that’s a different discussion.
One of the things i said i would do is challenge myself on learning a Metallica riff a day on guitar, even if it’s not perfect. It actually started off good for a while- i even learned the intro to ‘One’ (my second favorite song of all time) among other songs. i ended up getting distracted by life (which included a major depression episode), so i fell off with the challenges. ‘Blackened’ was one of those songs that seemed daunting to me; even though i play guitar (more as an accent than anything, as well as writing music), i am not that good at it. i can’t do bends, trills and the like. Tabs absolutely confuse me.
The layering that happens in that beautiful intro absolutely scared me, so i would gaze with wonder at anyone else covering it. But one day a person named Ryan (who i know through the Metal Up Your Podcast circle) played it, and it greatly inspired me to challenge myself to play it, even if it’s not as great as he , or many others have played it.
Especially James Hetfield. i will never be on the level of that guy, in terms of playing. There’s so many things going on rhythmically and harmonically in Metallica songs, it’s scary for someone like me to even attempt to mangle them. That said, you never know how things are gonna go until you try, right?
i messed around on the mini Les Paul to get a feel of things, and even though it (obviously) wasn’t perfect, i was happy to say i accomplished a semblance of the intro (for someone who’s not good at guitar), despite it not having a lot of the flourishes the intro is known to have. It, at the very least, sounded relatively audible.
In introducing this new chapter to the book of the ever-evolving ‘Blackened’ journey, i figured i would also include the riff challenge as an addendum of sorts. Is it perfect? Of course not. Nothing i do will ever be. The most important thing with art is to just do it. It has been interesting to see, even with this intro, that even though everyone’s reading of it stays relatively the same, it’s clear people hear different things when they hear the song (or based on their ability); as sometimes you hear a different note in one place you don’t hear in someone else’s rendition.
The version i did, interestingly, ended up sounding similar to something The Residents might do… It actually makes me think of something akin to DEVO’s ‘Corporate Anthem’. i played the intro all on guitar (and bass, which is ironic i suppose because …Justice), but the song ended up sounding somewhat horn-like, which actually amuses me. The primary instruments were an LTD black Snakebyte (whose name is Phyllis; her brother’s name is Jerome; you can see them both in the accompanying photos to the song); a Tanglewood Blackbird acoustic, and a Squire 60s Vibe Jazz bass.
i think i might actually practice this one on the keys sometime.
jesse came to say hello to me in the middle of recording drums, and in response decided to film this greeting:
In terms of the actual song, there were a few times i messed up, as well as a few times the mic did not pick up the crash cymbal; i didn’t focus so much on fine-tuning any technical aspects so much here- i was just so incredibly happy to be sitting in front of the drums and playing them. ‘Blackened’ was the musical starting point for me in being inspired to do these Fridays posts; hopefully, the way i play it, and drums in general, will evolve, and get better.
i once had a tattoo on my left leg that said ‘no fear’, surrounded by balloons.
About 19 years ago i was riding my bicycle (of course), and i had my neck cut by some kite string with balloons attached to it. If you’ve heard any of the stories that came out within the past year about people being injured (or worse) by random kite strings, then you know that kite string is no joke. i am grateful to have survived. As a result, i developed a fear of balloons.
i wanted to lose this fear, and the tattoo was a reminder of encouraging me to do so. As a result of my legs being messed up from being hit by a truck (which i am extremely grateful to have survived as well) i lost this tattoo. Coincidentally (or not) i began developing a whole other heap of fears. While it may be true that fear is simply representative of False Evidence Appearing Real; but suddenly becoming an amputee will probably do that to you on some level.
So now i have to start over and find my voice again.
As i’ve mentioned various times, Metallica has been a major soundtrack in this journey of starting over. The context of their music is quite different now, as a nearing 50 disabled adult whose life experience has now shifted, versus a young kid who was much more mobile with two legs. While my brain struggles to process various things (due to the accident i suppose), my brain is still functioning with dozens and dozens of thoughts and ideas all at once, and it’s frustrating that i can’t get them all out. i usually have something nearby where i can record my ideas (whether it’s paper or a recording device)- and a lot of times those ideas happen when i don’t have access to something, like i’m in the bathroom/shower, or if i’m in bed and don’t feel like getting up to get said things to record on.
This 72 Seasons album has been incredibly helpful in terms of helping me access some of this creativity. It’s also been helpful in acknowledging that i still have a few fears i was unaware were still around.
This may be a pretty common fear- and it may sound strange to some folks that it’s one i have, given the amount of things i do on here- but one of the fears i do have is a fear of truly accessing my own creativity. i am not a great musician or singer, and i don’t particularly like the sound of my own voice; however, i love creating, so i do it. Creating is a means of survival. i create, but i’m always seeing something in it that makes me recoil, like i played a note weird, or that i’m not good enough.
And suddenly, the universe brings a wonderful song to us called ‘Room Of Mirrors’, the penultimate track on 72 Seasons. To me, ‘Room Of Mirrors’ works similar to ‘Purify’ (the penultimate track on the wonderful St. Anger), in that they both describe the process of truly opening yourself to be vulnerable to others, and breaking down every cell, every atom. To truly open yourself to others is one of the most difficult things to do. Even the most encouraging words sometimes sound like a criticism, either due to painful experiences that have shaped your life, or the voices inside your head telling you ‘no’.
In a mirrored room Talking to myself And the voices pushing back I’ll let them inside my heart But they’ll tear it all apart
In a mirrored room Just a simple man Naked, broken, beat, and scarred What do I really know? That fear of letting go
Letting go is scary. Your thoughts are going 250 miles a minute, and you write and record all of these ideas when you can (to the point where it’s even difficult to remember where you put them). You are blanketed by all of these ideas, but to actually put them out into the world is taking that blanket off, leaving you cold. But you need to get up and jog through the forest of your brain to keep warm.
…And so it began, where we were sitting in the theater listening to the tracks of the album, in the global premiere. There were already songs i was familiar with (due to them being released as singles previously). With the new songs, i closed my eyes for much of it, and just took in the music. Not only is every single song a lyrical deep exploration (charting some of James Hetfield’s best), but so many of the songs are dripping in rich harmony… especially a song like ‘Room Of Mirrors’. As i sat in the theater, my brain immediately went there, with both James’ vocal melodies, as well as the guitars.
Over the course of this week i was messing around on the guitar, practicing one half of the guitarmony on the bridge of ‘Room Of Mirrors’, and a cover began to develop. As i mentioned earlier, i’m not the greatest musician, so a lot of times when i cover a song i do it either from memory, or inspired from portions of the source. i can only play to my own limitations, so i’m not going to play a song similar in style to Metallica, as i’m not great at palm muting, barre chords, pinch harmonics… or even guitar in general.
The foundation of this cover was actually the vocals. After i did those, i did drums, then bass, then guitars. The original song reminded me a bit of Bad Religion (one of my favorite punk bands of all time), which may be what truly endeared me to the song (beside its wonderful lyrics). When i began developing the cover, i kind of heard a ska punk rhythm in my head, mixed with the B52s. i cannot tell you why. i also am horrible at soloing, so i didn’t even attempt to for this song. The song stays pretty much in the solid ‘pop punk’ (?) realm, i guess, with some vocal harmonies- again, which i’m not great at. But…
…i am doing my best to face my fears. i am holding that mirror up to what scares me. That said, i am a survivor of things more scary than my terrible vocals.
i was in the middle of editing, when i decided to check my e mail. There was one which stood out, with its bright flashes of yellow. NEW SONG! NEW ALBUM! NEW TOUR!
Could it be, after much debate and speculation; amid a pandemic (which is still very present) and personal and collective losses, that an actual album has finally been realized? i stopped what i was doing, to listen to this song, which was included in said e mail. 44 seconds in, i already knew it was going to be beautiful.
What i didn’t know what how significant it would be to the journey.
“Come to the Church of Metallica. You’ll become a member and rejoice! You don’t have to direct anything at us. You can direct it at the experience that you’re having.” In an interviewwith the New Yorker, Kirk Hammett succinctly states the very thing i was feeling at the 40th anniversary shows, where i lifted my hands in prayer and repeatedly thanked the Most High for Metallica’s existence in my life. It felt so strange to do, but it felt extremely natural at the same time. It was the third time i’ve felt such a positively visceral reaction while attending a concert- the other two times were seeing Pharoah Sanders (where i cried rivers the moment he stepped on stage) and Kamasi Washington.
i do not, in any way, shape or form look at Metallica as God. It is clear that the Church spoken of is not about the worship of fallible beings, for they, both as individuals as well as a collective, are as fallible as any other human on the planet. However, from my perspective, there was a particular energy they were open to receiving that night, and i was just as ready.
‘Lux Æterna’, the song which was released on Monday, is the musical embodiment of the very thing i felt that night at the 40th. It is, indeed, the musical embodiment of, as Lars Ulrich says, “the whole energy of the universe.”
At this point, i think i have heard this song at least 80 times since its release. Maybe more.
To me, the song sounds like the result of a very difficult healing journey. Indeed, the song’s title is translated to ‘eternal light’ in Latin; while Metallica have been a major factor in my own healing journey as an amputee, this is the first song i’ve ever heard from the band, which expels actual light energy. The focus i have here is more spiritual than anything; however, i’ll focus on the material for a bit.
The song’s double kick pattern is reminiscent of Motörhead’s ‘Overkill’; the riff is clearly inspired by them as well. There are also references to Diamond Head (another massive influence to the band), as well as their own music. The song is clearly a nod to their first album, Kill ‘Em All, yet written with the wisdom and maturity of someone who, again, did a lot of the difficult healing work and self-reflection.
‘Lux Æterna’ still carries the same message that was audaciously stated in 1983: “We’ll never stop/We’ll never quit/’cause we’re Metallica”; this time, it feels more metaphysical, and more to be about the healing qualities of music itself. People have connected with this band in so many ways; decades after they are gone, their impact will still be felt in ways beyond the music.
Emancipation Kill isolation Never alone for the feelings alike Amplification Lightning the nation Never alive more Than right here tonight
is light years away from
Late at night, all systems go You’ve come to see the show We do our best, you’re the rest You make it real, you know
Just as
A sea of hearts beat as one, unified Magnification All generations Approaching thunder awaiting the light
is the realization of their evolution and inspiration, from
No life till leather We are gonna kick some ass tonight We got the metal madness When our fans start screaming It’s right well alright When we start to rock We never want to stop again
And the healing power of music and community is realized through the
Kindred alliance connected inside Commiseration Sonic salvation Cast out the demons that strangle your life
While the individual experience is colored by knowing
I am taking down you know whatever is in my way
…Those things that are in the way inhibit us from being the best we can be, to ourselves, and to others.
‘Lux Æterna’ is, to me, a sibling of ‘Lords Of Summer’, an amazing song (released on the special edition of Hardwired… To Self Destruct) that also references Kill ‘Em All. It also continues the journey that ‘Hit The Lights’ and more specifically, ‘Whiplash’ began- the sentiment of the lyrics echo the slight change that’s been said in live versions for many years now: “We’ll never stop/We’ll never quit/’cause you’re Metallica!”
Rounding everything out, Lars says, “The fifth member of Metallica is the collective… People say, ‘What does Metallica mean to you?’ It’s just a fuckin’ . . . it’s a state of mind.” Metallica for me is more of a philosophical and spiritual experience than anything else, so again, not only do the words of the members of Metallica confirm this for me, but so does this song.
Speaking of Lars… Is the Black Album-era White Tama kit back? MY FAVORITE KIT IS BACK… minus a couple of rack toms and some hardware…?
That kit was the first thing i noticed in the accompanying video, the moment you could clearly see it.
On the upcoming album (of which ‘Lux Æterna’ is on), 72 Seasons, James Hetfield explains:
“72 seasons… The first 18 years of our lives that form our true or false selves. The concept that we were told ‘who we are’ by our parents. A possible pigeonholing around what kind of personality we are.”
“I think the most interesting part of this is the continued study of those core beliefs and how it affects our perception of the world today. Much of our adult experience is re-enactment or reaction to these childhood experiences. Prisoners of childhood or breaking free of those bondages we carry.”
Re-enactment or reaction.
Re-enactment or reaction. Or response. We can continue the patterns of our parents (or other adults who were there during our formative years), or reject them. To be able to acknowledge this takes a massive amount of work. It is said that ‘hurt people hurt people’, but we don’t have to. i have no idea what the rest of the album is going to sound like; while i have no doubt it will be great, i cannot say the sentiment is going to fully echo it’s first single. That said, i maintain that ‘Lux Æterna’ is the pure embodiment of love, joy and true light energy, emanating from years of (still existent) struggle, heartache and doubt.
i really do feel that Metallica was brought here to do this. No, not simply perform; but to publicly experience a particular journey, in order to come out of it, in order to see their purpose of bringing light. i really do think this is why they’ve endured as long as they have. They will always have human experiences where they make mistakes, or where they will do things i disagree with.
i am talking about something bigger than that. They are not here to be perfect. They are here to be bearers of light.
As you all know, i am an extremely basic player, and far from being that great. i don’t know all the tricks, bells and whistles, the gallops or the 16ths… While i certainly am not Robert Trujillo, the song is incredibly fun to play. i ended up pre-ordering the album, so i was able to get a link to download the song. Soon after that i began practicing it on bass. i am not playing it at all, how it’s ‘supposed’ to be played. i was actually slightly inspired by Bob Babbitt here.
After figuring out the basics, i decided to look up some bass covers of the song (of which there are many, even after three days). It amazes me how, after all these years, i still play like a guitarist, as opposed to how a bassist would play. i can’t read music; i have no idea even what notes i’m playing. i play by sound- which, i’m going to be honest, is why i would not consider myself that good of a player, or even a bassist.
Obviously, this does not stop me from having fun, or striving to be better. Given everything i’ve written in this post, i hope i haven’t disrespected the song (or the band) too much.
i am grateful to the universe for the opportunity to experience not only Metallica in my lifetime; but also the gift of their music.
Metallica were babies when they released their first two albums, Kill ‘Em All (July 25) and Ride The Lightning (July 27) respectively. And now as they’ve grown to be elders, they can look back at the much-cherished work they created and produced 39 and 38 years ago. In figuring out what to do for this post to commemorate this occasion, i realized i covered most of the songs off the albums. After this post, i will only have two songs left from KEA, and no songs left from Lightning.
i’m laughing listening to KEA though, because after 30 years of listening to that album, i didn’t notice all the dope things Cliff Burton was doing on bass until much, much later. The bass tends to be low in the mix with this band (one of the biggest critiques i have about the earlier albums), but if you listen carefully, he is doing these amazing runs and trills and counter-rhythms. There’s a reason the dude had his own song on their first album (‘Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth’))- one of the few times a bassist is highlighted in a metal band. You think he’s playing with the rhythm guitar, but he’s off doing something else.
‘No Remorse’ (from KEA) is a perfect example of this. You need a really good system or headphones to really hear what Cliff is doing. The intro riff one of my top 3 on that whole album; they write so many riffs they just stick them in random spots, making the song a little more interesting. Any performances they do of the song in more recent years, they take out that whole bridge, which is a part i love. The song also has the beloved (at least by me) rhythmic illusion. i can’t be the only one who counts differently when the verse riff initially comes in.
i also always have to laugh because in the final verse, Hetfield sings “We are ready to kill all comers,” but it always gets misheard as “all drummers.” i messed up a bit here, but what is life if you don’t make mistakes once in a while?
i wanted to switch it up a bit for the final song on KEA, ‘Metal Militia’. Instead of following along with the thrash original, i decided to make it swing a bit. Does that make the song less metal? Perhaps.
Or perhaps the song is now more metal. Hmmmmmmmm…
This next song, i have been avoiding. It was the final song left from Ride The Lightning, so i figured the best way to do it was to not be on camera.
As i was creating the base for ‘Fade To Black’ (which was drums), i omitted vocals so i would be able to get through the song. i played as much to the song as possible, but it was the only thing i did that relatively ‘matched’ the song. Even without the vocals you could still hear some bleedthrough (as well as my own head singing the song), so it took everything out of me not to break down. The more i worked on the song i did leave the vocals in, but i ended tuning them out just so i could, again, get through the song.
i took musical cues (obviously), but like most of these covers i do from scratch, they end up sounding not very much like the original…. because i know how to play to my limitations. i know what lane i can go in musically, while at the same time doing my best to honor the original- which is what i hope i’ve done, and continue to do.
The song (which originally was said to be about getting some instruments stolen) has taken a life (if you can say that) of its own. James Hetfield is now describing the song in recent times as being about ending one’s life; he’s also been regularly announcing that those who are struggling in whatever way are not alone, and to please find someone to speak to. The first time i can recall him speaking to not being alone was at the 40th anniversary shows in 2021. i was taken aback (and figured, as i mentioned at the time) that there were a few things he said at the shows that seemed to indicate he was going through something. When he announced this year on stage in Brazil about his mental health struggles, i figured my hunch was correct.
What he said at the 40th Anniversary show didn’t hit me until the next day, and i kept a lot of my thoughts inside until i couldn’t anymore. And i cried rivers.
As a person who has on several occasions attempted to end my life; as a person who struggles every day with depression, the song is extremely difficult for me to listen to. The lyrics speak succinctly about the very feelings i had when i’ve made attempts, and even when i’ve thought about doing it. Many days are better than others, and some days i just don’t feel like even getting out of bed. Even though i’ve learned to like myself at the age of 39 (and love myself at the age of 42), i still ask myself some days (as i am about to be 46) if it’s all worth it. i do live with survivor’s guilt (as a person who almost died but survived an accident that forever altered my body); i feel like people see me as better than i actually feel about myself, when it comes to some things. i found out ways i can manage all of these complex feelings and experiences, but none of it is easy.
One thing that really does help is playing and creating music. i really do hope anyone who reads these posts and listens understands the respect i aim and hope to give these beautiful songs that have meant so much to me.
(All instruments- drums, guitar, bass and keys are by me, except for lead solo (Hammett- one of his greatest) and vocals (Hetfield))
It has been some week… i was pretty wiped out from getting a booster (which will be helpful since i’m actually going to see Metallica next month- Wheeeeeeeeee); i also was pretty busy with meetings and organizing work, where i wasn’t able to get a post in. Also… My brain since the accident randomly decides to shut down, and there’s points where i don’t seem able to do things in effective ways. It’s also much more difficult to understand, for example, group chats, in the way i used to be able to. i am wondering if this is a latent effect of a concussion.
So of course, there are times when i’m playing instruments, and i will get really extreme brain farts, despite me playing the same part a minute prior. Playing music and writing have been really helpful for my brain’s activity. Thinking about all of this sometimes gives me massive depression; i am definitely grateful to the universe that i am still able to process things as much as i can, and that i didn’t suffer as much damage to my brain as i could have.
That said, we are still here, and i guess there will be two ‘Metallica Fridays’ posts this week. Given that i hadn’t done any songs from the ‘Ktulu’ series yet, i figured i’d just put them all together.
Though i am aware of the legend of Cthulhu (primarily from Metallica, as well as some friends who were fond of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft), i always avoided any writings because of the author’s massively racist history, which friends of mine who enjoyed his writings struggled with (he infamously called a cat friend of his a certain racial epithet). While his views (very) slightly shifted towards the end of his life after the nazi rise to power (as well as whatever KKK fallout occurred at that time); looking into it though, his politics were still massively problematic. In the latter part of his life (the dude died in 1937), he still held massively anti-African and anti-Jewish beliefs. In a letter to Catherine Lucille Moore (dated 1936), he still believed in the concept of “biological inferiority” and the “sub species”. i know that many people tend to separate the art from the artist, regardless of how problematic the artist is. i listen to lots of music where the artists don’t necessarily share the same ideological framework as i do… however, there is a fine line i do have, when it comes to art, and racism is one of them.
Despite the fact that Lovecraft died believing in the pseudo-science of racial superiority on some level; the songs Metallica got out of his writings are quite good, so i guess i will stick with that. Just to make this easier, we will go chronologically.
‘The Call Of Ktulu’ is the first in the series, the final song hailing from 1984’s Ride The Lightning. As usual, i had a particular idea how i wanted to do this song, and it ended up as a whole different thing. Also as usual, the drum was the skeleton for the rest of the song. The keys came next, then bass, then guitar. i play guitar, but i am in no way, shape or form a guitarist… But i won’t say i’m a bassist or keyboardist either! Am i a drummer though? That’s up to you to answer.
i didn’t listen to the song at all while crafting this cover- so while the theme is obviously similar, it has a different feel. i’ve heard the song enough times to know how it goes, heh heh… It is always interesting to create something from memory, from scratch.
(Drums, keys, guitar and bass are all by me. The intro is by nature.)
‘The Thing That Should Not Be’ (from 1986’s Master Of Puppets) is the PERFECT Lars Ulrich song, and i took advantage of that. While he certainly is notorious for doing fills all over the place, i honestly don’t think he does as many as people joke about- at least not on record. The China cymbal is another story…
i honestly love his style (as most people who read this site know), and he is a major inspiration for what i do. His style is often imitated, but never duplicated. Really, NO ONE drums like the guy. That said, ‘Thing’ is fill city, for sure (just as songs like ‘Wherever I May Roam’ are). So of course i took that opportunity to just visit and chill in fill city. and even so, i still probably didn’t do as many fills as Lars. ‘Thing’ is a great Cliff Notes (no pun intended) edition of the Cthulhu/Ktulu legend. Metallica, as i keep saying, can write dope songs in their sleep.
‘Dream No More’ (from 2016’s Hardwired… To Self Destruct) is my absolute favorite of the ‘Ktulu’ trio. It is also my 24th favorite Metallica song of all time. The song is massively slept on, and goes hard. As the album is more of a nod to their NWOBHM roots, ‘Dream’ has got a Sabbath influence all over it. The pre-chorus riff, as well as the intro/bridge/almost end riff are among my favorites in their whole catalog. i mean, this whole song is filled with excellent riffs thoughout.
If i could only write a riff this good…
Interestingly, my primary influence for drumming this song is not Lars, but Stevie Wonder.
A day late, i know… This week had been building up in ways that are hard to explain. People ask how you are, and you don’t know how to answer. Nothing of note is tragically horrible in your life, but you just feel a particular inexplicable way.
Then all of a sudden, it happens. As you feel things building you work to manage it in whatever way you can, and it still hits you like a ton of bricks.
i wish depression on no one. The unnamed feeling is very real.
i still wanted to make a post though, despite being in the throes of depression. Sometimes that actually helps me to feel better. In preparing for this post, parts of it certainly helped me to feel better, but honestly, parts of it didn’t. Parts of it, i cried.
This site is an exploration of all things: the improvements and the mistakes, the happy and the not-so-happy. i tend to write about these things, but i never film it.
As you may know (if you’ve been following this site), i tend to post songs that i am particularly feeling, or inspired by at the moment. ‘The House Jack Built’ has been on my mind for a while. It’s also my 12th favorite Metallica song of all time. i tend to have no problems listening to it, nor does it trigger my depression. For some reason, the song spoke to me this week in ways it hadn’t before.
Growing up with a mother who had an alcohol addiction, and struggling with addictions of my own (which were pretty close to being triggered this week), the song speaks to me in that way. However, the song spoke to me this week, as if it was reading to be about depression itself.
Open my eyes just to have them close again Well on my way, but on my way to where I’ve been It swallows me as it takes me in its fog I twist away as I give this world the nod
Open my eyes just to have them closed once again Don’t want control As it takes me down and down and down again Is that the moon or just a light that lights this dead-end street? Is that you there or just another demon that I meet?
You fall into a pit you feel you can’t get out of, and sometimes you just wait and hope it goes away. You exist in the world and are functioning as a being, but there’s a whole other life lurking.
i chose to film this as i was in the deepest part of my depression at this moment. There were 50 million things going on in my head, and it was difficult to focus on even playing drums, but i did it. Any mistakes i made or anxiety i had, i just played through it all. There were a bunch of things coming up for me as i was playing, and that’s what you see on my face.
i already made songs inspired by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich (sortakinda), and i felt inspired to do a Kirk Hammett-themed song. It was a bit of a distraction from this recent episode i am experiencing.
While there were a couple of things i had in mind, as usual, what i first had in mind never ends up as the end result. i initially had a particular riff in my head, but i ended up using the drum as the base of the song, then writing the ‘lyrics’ (aka the clips) around the drums. Then i played the bass in a way which followed whatever Kirk was saying/singing. The drums were actually inspired by Lars (but what’s new?), and the bass lines were inspired by Public Image Ltd.
People who know me well enough (at least in relation to Metallica) know how much i absolutely love Kirk Hammett. Even though my first musical love was the drums (despite the guitar being the first instrument i seriously played), teenage me (and even adult me) always connected with Kirk- his shyness, his awkwardness and his passion for the things he loves. i did my best to capture those things with this song.
My favorite thing about this song though? The cats.
Because cats are the greatest beings to ever be on this earth. i love all animals (and have been a vegan for 28 years strong), but i am not ashamed to say that cats are my favorite ever people.
i’m gonna be honest: there was a point where i just wasn’t feeling it this week.
Depression can do that to you. It’s inexplicable. It comes and goes in quick waves sometimes; other times it takes up a mass load of space. When i’m feeling tired and unmotivated i have to closely watch myself, to make sure i’m not entering a crisis. When playing music is not helping (and it certainly wasn’t helping this week), i know i’m verging on the edge of trouble. When i’m there everything that normally seems okay to play, i can’t seem to mentally make connections. Nothing i play comes out right. Fortunately, it passed right as it was about to get to that edge. As i was recording for this week’s session, a lot of what i was feeling began to pass.
i can’t believe it’s been five months since i’ve started these posts. Five months in this journey of not only Metallica being part of the soundtrack of living and learning post amputation; it’s also been a journey of me working on being okay with just letting go and allowing myself to JUST PLAY. i maintain that listening to and experiencing Metallica prior to the accident is extremely different than it is now. To echo the words of a Mr. Hetfield- When it comes to be a soothing ride towards a new day, there was a semi truck that came my way.
The positive of that will always be a reacquaintance with the things i never knew i would return to in the ways they have… not only playing music, but also myself. And while depression is not something that miraculously goes away, i have become better at reading when the freight train (or the semi truck, if you will) is approaching.
With that, we’ll start with something that might actually feel like a freight train to folks… one of the worst pains in existence on this earth: a toothache. Not too many things will down you faster than a toothache. Apparently Cliff Burton may have been thinking the same thing, because he made a tune (supposedly) inspired by it.
And while i absolutely love playing the bass to Metallica songs, i in no way shape or form am at the level of a Cliff Burton, so i did not play ‘Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)’. i did play drums to it though. The thing i love about this song is that the band decided to do a song with BASS AS THE PRIMARY INSTRUMENT, AND NO GUITAR on their first album.
No… even better. The DRUMS came in after a couple of minutes. Bass and drums- the two instruments people love to make fun of all the time.
‘Hardwired’ is quite fun to play. It was the last song written for the album bearing it’s name (Hardwired…. To Self Destruct), and it was once again, the band saying, “We don’t need to prove our chops to you, but once again, here you go. Now shut up and stop complaining how we ‘sold out’.” It was a great opener to a pretty emotionally devastating (at least to me) album.
And finally…
Come on. We had to get here eventually.
Yes, it is ‘Enter Sandman.’ Yes, it has been played to the point where everyone knows the song, whether or not they know the band who made it. As i’ve said several times though, there really is a difference between consuming a piece of music, and listening to a piece of music. ‘Enter Sandman’ really is a great song, in terms of its construction.
Thank you Kirk Lee Hammett for laying that groundwork. And thank you Bob Rock for encouraging the lyrical changes. ‘Disrupt the perfect family’ honestly is not as powerful as the contrast of Never Never Land and nighttime prayers, with nightmares and the sandman. Given that Metallica have also prided themselves on writing songs where the lyrics are open for interpretation, a song’s subject matter as specific as crib death honestly would not have worked as well, especially given the content of the other songs on the album. i don’t think ‘Harvester Of Sorrow’ pt. 2 would have worked.
i did switch it up a bit. Inspired by the switch-up of ‘The Unforgiven’, i half timed the verses, while the chorus (which was originally half speed) went in the other direction. Interestingly (but maybe not surprising to some), it gave the song a little bit more of a ‘Southern rock’ reading.
(This post is dedicated to Carly, who has helped me tremendously in dealing with some mental stuff. Thanks for the connection.)
