A day late, i know… This week had been building up in ways that are hard to explain. People ask how you are, and you don’t know how to answer. Nothing of note is tragically horrible in your life, but you just feel a particular inexplicable way.
Then all of a sudden, it happens. As you feel things building you work to manage it in whatever way you can, and it still hits you like a ton of bricks.
i wish depression on no one. The unnamed feeling is very real.
i still wanted to make a post though, despite being in the throes of depression. Sometimes that actually helps me to feel better. In preparing for this post, parts of it certainly helped me to feel better, but honestly, parts of it didn’t. Parts of it, i cried.
This site is an exploration of all things: the improvements and the mistakes, the happy and the not-so-happy. i tend to write about these things, but i never film it.
As you may know (if you’ve been following this site), i tend to post songs that i am particularly feeling, or inspired by at the moment. ‘The House Jack Built’ has been on my mind for a while. It’s also my 12th favorite Metallica song of all time. i tend to have no problems listening to it, nor does it trigger my depression. For some reason, the song spoke to me this week in ways it hadn’t before.
Growing up with a mother who had an alcohol addiction, and struggling with addictions of my own (which were pretty close to being triggered this week), the song speaks to me in that way. However, the song spoke to me this week, as if it was reading to be about depression itself.
Open my eyes just to have them close again Well on my way, but on my way to where I’ve been It swallows me as it takes me in its fog I twist away as I give this world the nod
Open my eyes just to have them closed once again Don’t want control As it takes me down and down and down again Is that the moon or just a light that lights this dead-end street? Is that you there or just another demon that I meet?
You fall into a pit you feel you can’t get out of, and sometimes you just wait and hope it goes away. You exist in the world and are functioning as a being, but there’s a whole other life lurking.
i chose to film this as i was in the deepest part of my depression at this moment. There were 50 million things going on in my head, and it was difficult to focus on even playing drums, but i did it. Any mistakes i made or anxiety i had, i just played through it all. There were a bunch of things coming up for me as i was playing, and that’s what you see on my face.
i already made songs inspired by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich (sortakinda), and i felt inspired to do a Kirk Hammett-themed song. It was a bit of a distraction from this recent episode i am experiencing.
While there were a couple of things i had in mind, as usual, what i first had in mind never ends up as the end result. i initially had a particular riff in my head, but i ended up using the drum as the base of the song, then writing the ‘lyrics’ (aka the clips) around the drums. Then i played the bass in a way which followed whatever Kirk was saying/singing. The drums were actually inspired by Lars (but what’s new?), and the bass lines were inspired by Public Image Ltd.
People who know me well enough (at least in relation to Metallica) know how much i absolutely love Kirk Hammett. Even though my first musical love was the drums (despite the guitar being the first instrument i seriously played), teenage me (and even adult me) always connected with Kirk- his shyness, his awkwardness and his passion for the things he loves. i did my best to capture those things with this song.
My favorite thing about this song though? The cats.
Because cats are the greatest beings to ever be on this earth. i love all animals (and have been a vegan for 28 years strong), but i am not ashamed to say that cats are my favorite ever people.
i have never seen this television show (Stranger Things), but i have heard so much about ‘Master Of Puppets’ being featured, and how it’s given rise to the song’s resurgence/popularity amongst folks who may not have previously been fans or appreciators of the band. As a person who first got into the band at the age of 14 (in between Justice and right around the release of The Black Album (or Metallica, for those who are not familiar with the oft-named alternate title), i’m sure there are people who would have thought i was a poseur, for getting into them around the height of their popularity. i mean, people lamented that they ‘sold out’ because they had acoustic guitars and a ‘ballad’ on their second album. James Hetfield mentioned in an interview how someone spit on him because his band made a music video.
i’m honestly not sure how anyone could ‘gatekeep’ what is literally the biggest, most well-known metal band in the world. Their music is played in films all the time. People were exposed to them because they had a VIDEO GAME based on their music. As a matter of fact, in reading about this recent turn of events, i discovered that ‘The Four Horsemen’ (from Kill ‘Em All, their (much-beloved by the most hardcore ‘Metallica died after Cliff died’ crowd) FIRST ALBUM) was featured in an earlier season.
So why were people not in an uproar about that, but for some reason people are popping blood vessels because of ‘Puppets’?
i always say (and i am sure i mentioned it in this post, where i played to the song) that ‘Puppets’ and ‘One’ are objectively the two greatest Metallica songs. They are songs i always play when introducing someone to the band, so the fact that the creators of the show introduced anyone not familiar with them to that song, i can’t say it’s a bad thing at all.
People began griping about the ‘new wave of Stranger Things fans’ somehow infiltrating and breaking through the iron-clad wall of the Metallica fortress. The band has had several responses:
“Everyone is welcome in the Metallica Family. If they like Puppets, chances are they’ll find plenty of other songs to get into.”
“FYI- EVERYONE is welcome in the Metallica family. Whether you’ve been a fan for 40 hours or 40 years, we all share a bond through music. All of you started at ground zero at one point in time.”
They made videos acknowledging their support of the show.
i suppose i can be considered one of the ‘older folks in that base- middle period’, since i also saw them live in 1991. As a person who went to the 40th anniversary shows with one of my closest friends- a person who only became familiar with them MONTHS before he went to the show with me- i can attest they will continue to reach many types of people outside of the metal community. i mean, despite me liking some metal, i’m in no way, shape or form a metalhead. i’m more of a punk kid, jazz is my favorite music, and i love house music. But Metallica definitely has been one of my favorite bands over the years. —————————————————————————————————————–
Another thing which has happened apparently, is that several people decided to sarcastically ‘recommend’ St. Anger and Lulu to folks who may have discovered the band through Stranger Things. i don’t have social media accounts, so when folks told me about this, silly little me thought these recommendations were sincere.
But i forgot that it’s social media we’re talking about.
These sarcastic comments are what’s actually inspired today’s post. As most who follow this site already know by now, i absolutely love and adore St. Anger. While it is not my absolute favorite album (Load still sits on the top of my list) St. Anger has become one of my top 5. It is also the album i listen to the absolute most in their catalog.
People do talk about the album being one you have to be in the mood for to listen to; i’d say that goes for every album on earth. i don’t disagree at all with comments that describe it as a perfect album when you are angry or depressed. The album has become much more significant to me than that. i think the album encompasses so much more than anger- despite the title. People consider St. Anger to be the band’s rawest album; i don’t think the album is any more or less raw than Load, which again, walked so St. Anger could run. Also, like Load and ReLoad, it’s fun listening to the variations in the left and right channels, something that was not as distinguishable with prior albums. Maybe it’s the punk kid in me that cherishes the album; maybe it’s the fact that it’s a therapeutic set of songs. It’s an album that charted the introduction of a band who was forced to face self-reflection and maturity.
As much as i love and adore the album, it’s not one i expect everyone to like. i’m not naive or dazed enough by my own appreciation for it to see why it’s a polarizing work. Whether or not people like it though- one thing i know for sure is that people need to respect it.
i hope that one person (or 10) who finds that ‘recommendation’ picks up St. Anger and actually loves it.
Now onto the song: ‘Sweet Amber’, a song which, sadly, they have only played live one time- 2004, in Lubbock, Texas. While the song’s primary narrative is driven by the band ultimately being forced to do some type of radio promotion (as depicted in Some Kind Of Monster); like many of their songs, there are veiled and/or vague references to addiction: “Chase the rabbit, fetch the stick/She rolls me over ’til I’m sick/She deals in habits, deals in pain/I run away but I’m back again“
My favorite lyrics in the song though, are these:
She holds the pen that spells the end She traces me and draws me in
i do not follow Lars much at all, in terms of the playing, save for a couple of things (if you know the original song- which you should- you’ll know what i mean). i was just having a bit of fun, and this is what ended up happening.
Admittedly, i only heard Lulu a couple of years or so after its official 2011 release. i was having a conversation with a friend about Metallica, and he had mentioned the album. The first two songs i heard were ‘Brandenburg Gate’ and ‘The View’, and i was so distracted by Lou Reed that i didn’t necessarily give attention to the whole work. i’ve never been much into Reed’s delivery at all- i was never a fan of the Velvet Underground or his solo stuff (at least not until his Buddhism-inspired instrumental works). Upon first listen of these Lulu tracks i said, ‘OH NOOOOOOOOOO… WHY??!!’
i then of course actually listened to (and got) the album some time later, and i ended up having an appreciation for it. This gets singularly declared a Lou Reed album (with Metallica as backup), but to me it’s as much their album as it is his. While i’m still not that fond of Reed’s delivery i’m not as dismissive as i was upon first listening, because in many ways it’s actually effective. i know that the poetry is inspired by/based on the Lulu plays by Frank Wedekind; some of it is incredibly difficult to listen to though, and not only because of the delivery. That said, one of the greatest/most effective pieces in this whole album is ‘Junior Dad’, a song i have been known to defend as much as i do St. Anger. i know people tend to make fun of the song (due to its almost 20-minute length, as well as the fact that it’s on Lulu); however, it’s an incredibly moving piece on resentment and growing older, and was actually a perfect way for Reed to go out.
i haven’t even talked about Metallica yet. They were wonderful on Lulu. They had the arduous (for lack of a better word) task of backing up Lou Reed, who notoriously did not suffer fools. They proved they were up for that task, banging out some glorious riffs. They produced some solid tone poems, and it’s something i would love to hear more of from them.
‘Iced Honey’ (the first song i play here from Lulu) is one of those songs where Reed’s cynical delivery is effective.
If I can’t trap a butterfly or a bee If I can’t keep my heart where I want it to be If no matter how much soul and heart I put to the wood If a flaming heart is not that good
A caged bird is going to always find a way to escape; and even if they physically are not able to do so, their heart is never as cold as the one who cages them.
It’s another song where, like the rest of the songs on this post, i did not follow Lars. While there were some clear ‘Larsisms’, i just went where the music took me, and it sounds nothing like the original (again, listen to the original, and you will see…).
i just hope i did an okay job.
And finally… Say it with me: I AM THE TABLE.
Yes, last but certainly not least, we have ‘The View’, one of the first songs (again) i ever heard from the album. This song (of course) met a life of its own (because… table); however, in the context of the whole album i actually appreciate it. It reads as a conflict between the moral and immoral, the holy and the sinful, and the religiosity of things- that is, that which consists of habits.
I am the truth, the beauty That causes you to cross Your sacred boundaries
i have no idea if any folks who became familiar with the band through the show will see this site; if you happen to stop through- welcome, and i hope you enjoy what you hear. While the posts i have here are songs from two of the most lambasted albums in the band’s catalog, these are songs i definitely appreciate; and i hope, as always, others can find some value, joy or inspiration out of them.
i have no idea why, but that gets to me every time. The chord which envelopes the lyric (which is a C if i’m not mistaken, and is the only time i think it’s played) is one of the most moving in the song- ‘Wherever I May Roam’. Jason Newsted’s bass dances around the chord as it’s left hanging for a few counts, while Lars Ulrich plays in half time. It’s a quick change- as an exclamation or declaration of sorts, before returning to the main theme of the song.
Carved upon my stone My body lie but still I roam
As i’m still not able to physically travel far to many places without assistance; my mind is still able to travel as far as it’s ever traveled. To echo the sentiment of a lyric Gladys Knight once sang, using my imagination is a way for me to ‘keep on keepin’ on.’ It is with this feeling that i connect with the song.
As simple as Lars’ drumming is during the bulk of the ‘Bob Rock years’ (in comparison to previous albums… and even from St. Anger on), there’s a range of interesting fills and time changes he does, which i never noticed until much later. His drums during this era are mixed with a particular ‘wetness’ that makes it cinematic. As does ‘Roam”s electric sitar intro by Kirk Hammett.
It is a well-crafted song, in a sea of many other well-crafted songs.
One of my favorite things about ‘Ride The Lightning’ is the rhythmic illusion-type intro. i cannot be the only person who listens to that song, and the riff turns around after the drums kick in. After playing it 20,000 times on drums, it doesn’t happen as much, but it’s still there.
This song is similar to ‘One’ in that it’s a fairly plainly spoken perspective of someone floating in between life and death- except in ‘One’, that person wants to die, because they have no capacity to see what is going on around them. They are being forced to exist by those who want to use him as an example. In ‘Ride The Lightning’ they are moments away from leaving this earth at the hands of an electric chair. Both songs humanize both characters. In ‘One’, the character is asking God to awaken him from what has to be a dream; if this is reality, he wants to be taken away. In ‘Ride The Lightning’, the character is experiencing a nightmare (but it’s real life), and asks those who have the ability to pull the plug, “Who made you God to say/’I’ll take your life from you?'” Both characters are in situations beyond their control, and outside human forces are controlling whether or not they live.
Whether or not that was the intent, ‘Ride The Lightning’ can be seen as a rumination on the death penalty, just as ‘One’ can be seen as a rumination on assisted suicide. But as with many songs in the Metallica oeuvre, there can be more than one interpretation.
Earlier in the day (at least where i live) i watched a livestream of Metallica headlining the Download Festival (formerly Donnington). They have played several of them over the years, most notably in 2004, when Lars was hospitalized right before the show, and Dave Lombardo, Joey Jordinson and Flemming Larsen sat in for him.
Speaking of… Here is what Jordinson (who is probably having a conversation with Larsen, Cliff Burton and John Bonham somewhere in space) had to say about Lars, in an interview with Metal Hammer magazine in 2016: “A lot of people give this guy shit, but they need to shut their fucking mouths because Lars Ulrich is probably one of the best and most innovative drummers ever. I got to tour with the guy and I watched him play every night from behind the kit, and his double bass was completely on point. He’s also one of the best businessmen that keeps this type of music going; he’s the heart of the whole fucking community, because Metallica are the kings. There’ll never be anybody that will match them, and Lars is a huge, huge part of that. Without that guy, and the influence of that band, I wouldn’t even be sitting here talking to you. Lars is one of my gods and he always will be. That guy fucking rules, period. So when I got the call asking if I’d fill in for him at Download festival, of course I knew everything because he’s one of my hugest influences. I remember playing to his shit all the time growing up and trying to be as good as him. Our technical abilities are way different but I’ll still never be as good as that guy, and getting to sit in his stool was one of the biggest fucking dreams come true. What an honor. I love that dude.”
You already know how i feel about Lars. While the experience and soundtrack of Metallica is what’s helped me tremendously through out this (still relatively new) journey as an amputee; it is Lars that has inspired me to do these drumming posts. And after playing to ‘The Judas Kiss’, i really don’t understand why people give the guy such a hard time. i understand that there have been things he’s done that are not immune from critique; but to totally say he’s a bad drummer makes no sense to me. There is no way Lars could arrange the songs in the way he does, with the mass variations in timing/signatures; if he was such a ‘bad drummer’. There’s no way he could be as in sync with James Hetfield as he is, if he was such a ‘bad drummer’. In learning to play these songs (in my own way, of course), it’s clear that he listens to the riffs, and creates narratives around that.
Up to this point, this song for some reason was the hardest for me to get through. There’s songs to me in the catalog that are actually harder, but for some reason i had a lot of trouble getting through this one. i definitely didn’t attempt to echo all of the rolls and fills done in the song. i’m not that great- which is why i ask again, why are people saying Lars is a ‘bad drummer’?
Either way, i hope i did alright.
‘The Judas Kiss’ is my favorite song on Death Magnetic, the follow-up release to the heavily polarizing (and heavily adored by me) St. Anger. The original/demo version (entitled ‘Gymbag’) was a bit slower, had some additional riffs, and a whole different set of lyrics, the best of them being ‘On your feet, or on your knees/Freedom is just one of these’. That definitely would have fit, but not as much as the finalized more powerful and menacing ‘Judas lives, recite this vow/I’ve become your new god now!’
There’s more than a few biblical references throughout Metallica’s catalog, just as there are veiled (and not-so-veiled) references to addiction. Generally, this song seems to have the (other) running theme of humans generally having the capacity in them to do evil things. Like Judas Iscariot (in the bible), despite being one of the 12 disciples, he was also faced with temptation. With that, he ratted Jesus out. You aim to do good in the world, and everything goes wrong. So what do you do? Your halo turns to fire.
Ah, Judas.
This song, the more i thought about it, made me think of the ending scene of the director’s cut of one of my favorite movies of all time, the 1986 version of Little Shop Of Horrors. Aside from the stark anticonsumerist message (which is why i love it), it’s visually stunning. In line with the theme of the song, Seymour (the main character) aimed to do good as well. He longed to save his romantic interest from an abusive relationship. He wanted the shop he worked at to stay afloat… but he made a deal in which the consequences not only changed his life, but every single person around him, both locally and remotely. It was a deal he could never escape.
So i did the Dark Side Of The Moon/Wizard Of Oz move, and did an experiment to see if things would work out.
And it fit perfectly.
Little Shop actually has another connection for me: When i just got out of the hospital, my cousin was my primary caretaker. She fed me, cleaned the commode, washed my clothes, and helped to change the dressings on my leg, when my legs still had major open wounds. Our life’s perspectives and ideologies were vastly different. However, one of the things we shared was our common love of Little Shop Of Horrors. She would come in, and we’d sing the songs, and recite the lines together. i will always cherish those moments.
i am posting two versions here: the one of me playing the song in full (where for some reason the camera decided to cut off towards the end), and the Little Shop version. i also recommend playing the scene to the actual song where Lars is playing.
i always love when the bass opens a Metallica song. It’s a good chance the song will be a head nodder. It’s just a groove.
Keeping up with today’s theme though (of biblical references and temptation and likely references to addiction), we’ve got ‘Devil’s Dance’ (from the other polarizing (and much adored by me)) album, ReLoad. As complicated as ‘Judas Kiss’ was for me, it was also nice to take a little break, and just chill.
i mean… who can hate this song? It’s got one of Hetfield’s best ever ‘YEAH’s in their whole catalog; The bass intros the song; it’s a perfect example of the drums communicating clearly with the rhythm guitar; the solo (as was common during this period) initially had minimal notes, then moved into those blues scales (which i always love), sounding both chaotic and smooth all at once.
One thing i do know: If you take a chance on this song, you WILL dance.
i’ve mentioned this in other posts, but i will say it again; whatever songs i do, i have to connect with them in some way. That connection can be emotional or spiritual; it could be that a memory that was jogged up about the song when thinking about something else. It could be that the artist i am covering has played a significant part in my life’s journey.
The ‘Metallica Fridays’ posts were birthed for this reason.
Before we get into why the title of this post is the way it is, i do want to briefly (re)discuss a memory: December 3, 1991- the Buffalo Memorial Auditorium. It was four months after the start of the first leg of the Wherever We May Roam tour. i had just turned 15 one month prior. ‘Battery’ was my favorite Metallica song (and honestly, probably my favorite song of all time at the time). i didn’t make the connection that they were touring for the Black Album. i was entirely fixated on wanting them to do ‘Battery’.
i have seen hundreds of bands as a teenager, and most shows are a blur- including this one. i don’t remember them doing ‘Through The Never’ at all (which makes me sad, since it was my favorite song off of the Black Album at the time, and still is). i don’t remember any of the guitar, bass or drum solos, and i have a vague remembrance of the banter in the opening film and between songs. i vaguely remember the Justice medley, but ultimately i don’t remember this set list at all. From the looks of it this was a pretty great show (i mean, they played ‘Whiplash!’ ‘Creeping Death’! ‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’! ‘Eye Of The Beholder’ (as part of the Justice Medley- A SONG THEY NEVER PLAY ANYMORE!!! Part of that medley was also ‘Frayed Ends Of Sanity’, ‘…And Justice For All’ and… ‘BLACKENED’!!!- BUT I DON’T REMEMBER IT. i don’t even remember them playing ‘Master Of Puppets’, the title track from my favorite album of theirs at the time. i guess that makes me a terrible fan- heh heh…
While not remembering the majority of the show, i remember what happened directly after the show. That said, i DO remember them opening with ‘Enter Sandman’ very clearly though- the first song in a 2.5- 3 hour set (of 22 songs!!!). i remember them playing ‘Battery’ as part of the second encore- the song i had been waiting for all night. When i heard that opening riff, i went OFF.
And i DEFINITELY remember the final song of the night (and the third encore): their cover of Queen’s ‘Stone Cold Crazy’ (from their 1974 album, Sheer Heart Attack, and b-side to ‘Enter Sandman’). i remember James Hetfield introducing the song by saying something like, ‘This song is by the not so straight band, Queen…’ Something like that. It’s funny that i remember those things, but not the much else of the show. i already liked Queen (and songs like ‘Sheer Heart Attack’ (from 1977′ News Of The World) piqued my punk sensibilities), so i was very pleased with Metallica’s cover. Of course, they Metallica’d it up (with some lyrical changes, the little tail at the end (as opposed to the abrupt end) and no harmonies in the chorus), but their cover is just as good as the OG.
Let’s keep it real- i know there’s the direct connection and influence with the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM), as well as punk bands like the Misfits, Discharge and GBH; but Queen walked so bands like Metallica could run. Queen had ‘thrash metal foreparents’ like ‘Stone Cold Crazy’ sit right next to pop hits like ‘Killer Queen’, and didn’t stutter. Would any of their albums post-Kill ‘Em All be as they were, without the musical diversity of Queen albums? Who knows. i also wouldn’t be surprised if Metallica (and especially bands like Guns N’ Roses) took performing cues from Deacon, Mercury, Taylor and May.
So here we are… jogging that precious memory back from December 3, 1991. i am not as good a drummer as Roger Taylor or Lars Ulrich, but it’s my little tribute.
(Also, you can’t tell me that Lars was not influenced by Roger Taylor in any way. Look at side by side videos of them (not just drumming wise, but interviews as well), and you’ll know what i mean.)
So here we finally are…. St. Anger.
If you’ve been following these posts up to now, you know that there are songs from the album spread throughout. This week though, i was particularly feeling it. Sometimes there are songs i want to do for these Friday posts, and when i go to do them it doesn’t feel right. But this week, St. Anger felt right. And i began to think more about it.
St. Anger is the Metallica album i actually listen to the most.
You heard that correctly.
With all the Puppets, the Justices, the Black Albums, the Hardwireds… With all of those beloved albums, yes… i continually return to St. Anger. WHY??!!
While Load is actually my favorite album of theirs (and as i love to say, Load walked so St. Anger could run), St. Anger is the one that means the most to me. Ultimately, while people are repulsed by the chaotic nature of the album, it’s actually the reason i love it.
i don’t get upset when people say how much they hate St. Anger. The album is full of a mishmash of copy and paste riffs and beats, no guitar solos, an infamous ‘garbage can’ snare, ‘therapy 101’ lyrical content, and a production as if it was recorded in a cave or tunnel. The album gets linked to a lot of ‘nu-metal’ that was produced at the time; however, while i’ve heard of a lot of the bands tagged with that label, i’m not familiar with the actual music made by those bands. So for me, St. Anger stands on its own without those influences.
On the surface, it is my favorite album to work out to. On a deeper level, There is no way an album like this could be made without it being chaotic. Load/ReLoad (lyrically) were rooted in the same mental health and addiction struggles St. Anger depicted; however, a whole band wasn’t openly on the brink of a breakdown. With Load, it was much easier to reinterpret some of the lyrical content, because you weren’t necessarily familiar with the root. With St. Anger you couldn’t escape that (especially if you watched Some Kind Of Monster, the documentary charting the journey of this era).
On the film, James Hetfield states: “It is the best mirror we’ve ever had in our lives.” On St. Anger, he says: “Everyone was pretty vulnerable with each other. And it made us stronger.” He’s also talked about “a lot of (the) growing up (that) happened” in the process of recording the album. Self-criticism is crucial for any progress to happen in life. St. Anger was the musical accompaniment to the self-critical process of Some Kind Of Monster. The Playboyinterview (published in 2001) were the first public tinges of a band on a sinking ship. Most people who read it or knew about it (including myself- the interview was actually circulating on the internet at the time) were most likely thrown off by the candidness, and were still surprised by Jason Newsted’s departure from the band. i didn’t see this performance until years later, but most people who did see the original airing of the VH1 awards in the year 2000 were not aware that (the aptly titled) ‘Fade To Black’ would be the final song Newsted performed live with the band. This includes the rest of Metallica.
Everything is dialectical. Jason Newsted leaving not only held a mirror up to the entity that is Metallica, but the humans within it as well. The perceived/assumed/creative chaos of St. Anger is a direct contradiction to razor sharpness and coldness of what has previously shaped the band’s identity. Each song on the album was a chapter in the collective mind and experience of the band, but for all intents and purposes it (like every other album) was still a vehicle for exploring the mind of James Hetfield. As everyone did contribute to lyrics for this album; since Hetfield is (usually) the primary lyric writer in the band, it does make me wonder if the others who contributed wrote what they imagined would be his perspective, or were they writing to chart their own mental health journeys as well. ‘Frantic’ set the stage of someone who is aware their addictions have utilized more hours in the day than desired; by the end of ‘All Within My Hands’, you’ve met someone who, despite talking about control being the driving force of things, has lost complete control.
Again, i totally understand why someone would hate this album.
Anyone trying to play anything off of this album- unless you are absolutely skilled at everything- might need a little bit extra time to learn these songs. For some of the songs, there is no solid BPM or count you could follow. Time changes/signatures are all over the place. Everything about this album, as far as i’m concerned, despite the copy/paste nature of it, is as complex as Justice (which was ALSO a copy/paste album, just much colder, cleaner, and drier). Both albums have a lot to do with grieving the loss of a bassist.
So while Load walked so St. Anger could run; St. Anger walked so METALLICA could run. In more ways than one.
Within St. Anger is that much-maligned, universally panned, never performed second to last song, ‘Purify’. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SONG. To me, this is the thematic crux of the album. while i could (obviously) be wrong about the song’s intent, i interpret this song is about therapy itself, and the use of it to strip away any illusions or pretenses- whether it’s the image of the entity which is Metallica, or the accoutrements that accompany said entity (the addictions and behavior fueled by it). i don’t think the message of ‘Purify’ is to forget the past as a whole, but to not hold onto it as a crutch. The cobwebbed skeletons are the coat rack in the closet, and you keep putting more and more clothes on it, hoping the coat rack doesn’t break.
Old paint, old looks Cover up the past
It’s time to move, so you have to clean out the closet.
Strip the past of mine My sweet turpentine
In an interview he did with Road Recovery, Hetfield says, “You wouldn’t really like me if you knew my story, if you knew what horrible things I’ve done. I’m coming to grips with that, ’cause I have groups of people that I’m able to share all my horrible stuff with. Shameful, extremely shameful, dark stuff. Some of it is things I’ve taken from my parents and carried it a little further. Other ones, I’ve been able to drop some of that. Other ones I’ve picked up on my own and created. Shame’s a big thing for me.” In an interview he did with Joe Rogan he talked about the experience of therapy/treatment “tearing you down to bones, ripping your life apart; anything you thought about yourself or what it was, anything you thought you had; your family, your career, your anything… gone.” He mentioned how the purpose of this process is to “slowly rebuild you.”
For me, this is what ‘Purify’ is about.
‘All Within My Hands’ (well, the album version anyway) is another maligned song. Everything about this song is perfect. Its imperfections are what make it perfect.
(The generally preferred alternate version is just as amazing to me. Like many songs done from earlier years with more recent readings, this version is more pensive, as if they escaped the fire, not unharmed, and are ruminating on the experience.)
There is absolutely NOTHING about this song that carries the usual Metallica metaphors. “Love is control/I’ll die if I let go.” All who love me, this is your verbal warning. I WILL crush you. This is the story of a person who doesn’t have the capacity or willingness to give love in the same ways they desire/receive from others. Love is conditional. LOVE IS CONTROL. CONTROL IS LOVE.
“You wouldn’t really like me if you knew my story, if you knew what horrible things I’ve done.”
Hetfield initially sings with a self-aware smugness, and as the song progresses he is pleading, and descends into instability. All instruments follow this slow descent.
It is a brilliant look into a particular mental health struggle, and an even more brilliant ending to a soundtrack covering various aspects of mental health and addiction.
This album resonates with me greatly, as a person who has particular mental health struggles, who has experienced varying levels of trauma (the biggest one, losing a leg i guess), who has struggled with loss and rejection… and as a person who hasn’t struggled with alcohol or drug addiction, but who grew up with a mother who was an alcoholic. In terms of myself, i struggled with an addiction to food bingeing, as a result of struggling with rejection and abuse. In terms of dealing with people, a portion of my life was also played out in a song like ‘All Within My Hands.’ i hated when people left, so i did some things i thought would make them stay, but all it did was push them away. i relapsed with the bingeing a few times (all without people knowing- as far as i know), and had to do a lot of work to be where i’m at now, in terms of my relationship with food, and myself. Fortunately i currently do not have the same struggles with food i have had in the past, but i know that it’s something always lurking around the corner.
In terms of my relationships with people, i did a lot of work practicing non-attachment. It’s not about not giving love or compassion to others; the non-attachment i worked on was practicing the understanding that people come in and out of your life, and you learn something from all of those people. The non-attachment is in not holding on to toxic relationships (whether it’s you performing that toxicity or someone else) and thinking something loving or beneficial could be produced out of them. In practicing this non-attachment i have learned to accept myself as a whole person, instead of seeking validation from those who clearly don’t love me in the same ways.
“…I have groups of people that I’m able to share all my horrible stuff with.”
The other role of non-attachment in my life is understanding and accepting there are those who do contribute positively to my life who may not have the same capacity for connection i have. i am a person who does need daily check-ins, but not everyone does. If i don’t hear from someone for a few days it doesn’t mean they love me any less.
I CAN’T CONTROL HOW PEOPLE LOVE ME. But i can control how i respond to that love.
(It is interesting and amusing how at the end i miss the crash cymbal, but i thought it was fitting for how chaotic the end is, so i decided to just let it happen).
Quoting Hetfield once again; on St. Anger (an album even the band knows has divided the fan base, to the point where they joke about it), he says that it’s an album that has “found its people.”
i’m gonna be honest: there was a point where i just wasn’t feeling it this week.
Depression can do that to you. It’s inexplicable. It comes and goes in quick waves sometimes; other times it takes up a mass load of space. When i’m feeling tired and unmotivated i have to closely watch myself, to make sure i’m not entering a crisis. When playing music is not helping (and it certainly wasn’t helping this week), i know i’m verging on the edge of trouble. When i’m there everything that normally seems okay to play, i can’t seem to mentally make connections. Nothing i play comes out right. Fortunately, it passed right as it was about to get to that edge. As i was recording for this week’s session, a lot of what i was feeling began to pass.
i can’t believe it’s been five months since i’ve started these posts. Five months in this journey of not only Metallica being part of the soundtrack of living and learning post amputation; it’s also been a journey of me working on being okay with just letting go and allowing myself to JUST PLAY. i maintain that listening to and experiencing Metallica prior to the accident is extremely different than it is now. To echo the words of a Mr. Hetfield- When it comes to be a soothing ride towards a new day, there was a semi truck that came my way.
The positive of that will always be a reacquaintance with the things i never knew i would return to in the ways they have… not only playing music, but also myself. And while depression is not something that miraculously goes away, i have become better at reading when the freight train (or the semi truck, if you will) is approaching.
With that, we’ll start with something that might actually feel like a freight train to folks… one of the worst pains in existence on this earth: a toothache. Not too many things will down you faster than a toothache. Apparently Cliff Burton may have been thinking the same thing, because he made a tune (supposedly) inspired by it.
And while i absolutely love playing the bass to Metallica songs, i in no way shape or form am at the level of a Cliff Burton, so i did not play ‘Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)’. i did play drums to it though. The thing i love about this song is that the band decided to do a song with BASS AS THE PRIMARY INSTRUMENT, AND NO GUITAR on their first album.
No… even better. The DRUMS came in after a couple of minutes. Bass and drums- the two instruments people love to make fun of all the time.
‘Hardwired’ is quite fun to play. It was the last song written for the album bearing it’s name (Hardwired…. To Self Destruct), and it was once again, the band saying, “We don’t need to prove our chops to you, but once again, here you go. Now shut up and stop complaining how we ‘sold out’.” It was a great opener to a pretty emotionally devastating (at least to me) album.
And finally…
Come on. We had to get here eventually.
Yes, it is ‘Enter Sandman.’ Yes, it has been played to the point where everyone knows the song, whether or not they know the band who made it. As i’ve said several times though, there really is a difference between consuming a piece of music, and listening to a piece of music. ‘Enter Sandman’ really is a great song, in terms of its construction.
Thank you Kirk Lee Hammett for laying that groundwork. And thank you Bob Rock for encouraging the lyrical changes. ‘Disrupt the perfect family’ honestly is not as powerful as the contrast of Never Never Land and nighttime prayers, with nightmares and the sandman. Given that Metallica have also prided themselves on writing songs where the lyrics are open for interpretation, a song’s subject matter as specific as crib death honestly would not have worked as well, especially given the content of the other songs on the album. i don’t think ‘Harvester Of Sorrow’ pt. 2 would have worked.
i did switch it up a bit. Inspired by the switch-up of ‘The Unforgiven’, i half timed the verses, while the chorus (which was originally half speed) went in the other direction. Interestingly (but maybe not surprising to some), it gave the song a little bit more of a ‘Southern rock’ reading.
(This post is dedicated to Carly, who has helped me tremendously in dealing with some mental stuff. Thanks for the connection.)
Even though i’ve written songs over the years (and continue to), i never exactly focused on the construction of a song in the ways i do now. Doing these challenges has given me a bigger insight into it all. It has also led me to think even more how one doesn’t have to know how to play music in order to critique it; however, i think the critique would most likely look a whole lot different if they did. It’s not easy to construct a song, and while i don’t think it’s necessary to like every song on the planet i am beginning to have a bit more general kindness for people who take the time to do it.
i am not playing these songs in the ‘traditional’ way they tend to be covered (not only because i’m an amputee, but i’m also not that great in comparison to those who play this music), but doing this really has given me a much bigger appreciation for Metallica’s music- and music in general. Eight months ago, if you told me i’d be playing ‘Blackened’ i would have laughed at you.
Is it better to play it in your own way (making lots of mistakes along the way) and find your groove until you finally hit a point where it feels right; or is it better to complain that you aren’t getting it ‘right’, and not play at all? For someone who’s not that great at drumming (again, in comparison to the many who play to this type of music) to be on the 19th week of learning, practicing and covering Metallica songs… i’d say that is an accomplishment i’d never thought i would see.
i enjoy doing this every week; it’s incredibly healing, and it helps take my mind off of the more traumatic things happening in my life. Doing this is incredibly humbling. This was the first week though, where i’m really starting to just let go and truly embrace it all. i’m calculating it via ‘spiritual math’ (as Clint Wells of Metal Up Your Podcast tends to say) when i choose which songs i’m going to cover each week. Honestly, the songs choose me. The more i do this, there are songs i begin to connect with in ways i hadn’t before.
‘Am I Savage’ is one of those songs.
It’s actually one of my favorite songs in the Metallica catalog. That said, though (of course) i listened to it enough for it to be one of my favorites, i never LISTENED to it until doing it for this post. People focus on that amazing riff (you know which one i’m talking about), but really, it’s an incredibly haunting, moving song. On the surface it can be interpreted as another one of those ‘werewolf/maybe Ktulu’-type songs. On the musical tip, the opening riff reminds me of something Duane Denison would play, merged with the obvious Sabbath influence. Lyrically is where it hits a bit deep.
Say hello to junior dad The greatest disappointment Age withered him and changed him Into junior dad Psychic savagery
‘Junior Dad’.
This is exactly what i thought about when actually listening to ‘Am I Savage’. ‘Junior Dad’, the almost 20-minute final song on the much maligned Lulu, the collaboration the band made with Lou Reed. While the lyrics (inspired by German playwright Frank Wedekind’s ‘Lulu’ play cycle) had some questionable things on occasion, i love the music. That said, ‘Junior Dad’ is an incredibly moving piece, and it is one i return to.
In the piece, the narrator laments the fact that he sees his father- a man who despised him- in himself. ‘Am I Savage’, to me, holds a similar theme. The video accompanying the song involves a man becoming more and more distant from his family, coworkers and other surroundings… and eventually himself. Like much of the Metallica oeuvre, there are various songs- some veiled and some not so veiled- regarding familial relationships and addiction. Instead of the desired connection with nature of ‘Of Wolf And Man’ for instance, is the “savage… scratching at the door” the “dog at (the) back step” from ‘Low Man’s Lyric’?
Is the beauty the high, and the beast the withdrawal?
Inheritance, the past has bit again
James Hetfield has been very open about his father leaving at the age of 13, and his mother’s passing at 16. In the documentary Absent, he addressed the roots of his struggles with alcohol addiction, where he “masked feelings of abandonment.” He also spoke about utilizing particular tools of eschewing emotion, in order to deal with said abandonment, since everyone he loved tended to leave. It was an “easy way to not get close to anybody.”
I feel, The ever changing, you, in me
You saw a little bit of the patterns in Some Kind Of Monster, where he describes celebrating his son’s first birthday in Russia, hunting bears and loading up on vodka for fuel. It got to the point where his wife made an ultimatum, a move Hetfield says saved his life.
He also acknowledges a particular “integrity” that comes with closing yourself off; however, he also says that “most of it is the shield.” On the vagueness of lyrics (despite them also being personal), he says that people are going to “relate to the struggle, and know that there’s someone out there helping speak about this.”
Beauty and the Beast are colliding
While i definitely do play instruments i don’t identify as a musician. It was only within the past few years where i identified as a writer, despite writing for decades. While that riff (yes, that riff) is one of their greatest, it’s the words i connect with the most here, having struggled with some of the same things- with an alcoholic mother, emotionally absent/narcissist stepfather, people dear to me leaving this earth, and closing myself off to people due to fear of rejection.
Transforming into the people you worked hard to escape is scary.
Speaking of words… the next song for this post has only been performed once (in London, UK (August 20, 1987) while ‘Am I Savage’ has been performed zero times (!!!)). ‘Crash Course In Brain Surgery’ stays faithful to the skeleton of the Budgie original, but of course it’s done in the Metallica way- it’s got twice the fills (where the OG only has about a couple), the singing got left out of the bridge (similar to ‘Breadfan’), and while Burke Shelley (who physically transitioned over the past year) does end the song with a few ‘Yeahs,’ it pales in comparison to what James does, which to me is second best only to ‘Fuel’ in all of the band’s catalog. The whole song is great (as is Budgie’s original) but sometimes i just replay that ‘Yeah Yeah… YEAH YEAH!’ over and over… and over.
‘Fight Fire With Fire’ (performed only 339 times- last on May 12, 2022 at Belo Horizonte, Brazil)) is absolute proof that i’m not a musician. i have absolutely no idea what i’m doing technically, but i did what felt decent (at least for now). The funny thing about all this is that when i isolated the drums i did, the way the song is SUPPOSED to be (on the up beat as opposed to the down beat) made more sense. i didn’t change the pattern at all, but when i was playing with the song (and when i would listen to all tracks) the drums would constantly mentally flip back and forth consistently. Despite me not switching patterns, flipping them in my head actually helped me get through the song. As anyone who reads this blog knows, i am a major fan of rhythmic illusions. So of course this is one of my favorites of the band. i am trying to imagine how a bunch of 21, 22-year olds sat and wrote a song like this. The song totally messes you up, structurally, trying to play it. It has to be one of two things: (a. Cliff Burton (who co-wrote the song (and was the primary influence of the intro) used his knowledge of music theory and composition to help craft the songs, or (b. the dudes (for the most part) ultimately had no idea what they were doing in terms of structure, and they were just going on adrenaline and did something until it sounded great.
i know that Lars’ long-time drum tech Flemming Larsen (who recently left this earth) did give him some drum lessons around this time. So perhaps that was a contribution to the construction of this song. However it happened, ‘Fight Fire With Fire’ is definitely one of the greatest album intros of all time.
And of course i can’t keep apologizing for doing no double bass on these tracks… I ONLY HAVE ONE FOOT, Y’ALL! i do what i can. It’s better to play with one foot (and not be perfect) than not at all!!!
Also… this song will always be timely.
i honestly like how James Hetfield puts it: He describes his musical relationship with Lars as one being of Lars as a frustrated guitar player, and he being the frustrated drummer. Jason Newsted also described Metallica as a ‘two-man garage band,’ something to that effect. The more i play to this music the better i begin to understand what they are talking about. Traditionally, the bass and drums tend to follow one another. But Lars ALWAYS follows James. ‘Fight Fire With Fire’ is a perfect example (out of many) of this occurring.
i decided to do a little challenge: play the Metal Hammer version of ‘Fight Fire’. After i was done, i wanted to cry. Their set from 1985’s Metal Hammer festival is in the top 3 of my favorite Metallica shows of all time. i messed up a few times but you know what? i did it. The fact that they did even FASTER versions of this song… i just can’t. Having performed live on stage a whole bunch of times, that adreniline definitely gets to you. But dang. To play that fast and not be sloppy (and yeah, sometimes they were) is a mean feat. To play that fast on bass with fingers… To play that fast with mostly downpicking… To play the skank beat and double kick that fast consistently…
Say what you want and will about this band. But playing these songs give me an even bigger amount of respect. The fact that they are able to laugh at their mistakes does the same.
i can’t say anything more than what Lars Ulrich (and other musicians) has said: A good song writes itself. Perhaps i will be able to write that great song some day. Until then i will appreciate those who do write them.
Whether it’s their covering and honoring (more obscure- especially at the time) NWOBHM and punk bands over the years (actually taking up most of their live sets in the early days), doing doodles (recognizing local artist from whatever city or country they’re performing in), just taking outright cues for inspiration, or advocating for vinyl; Metallica have always been a band that loves music, regardless of where it comes from. From what i can see, the greatest artists have a diverse interest in music, and will be inspired by sounds they do not primarily perform. Johnny Marr was inspired by Nile Rogers, John Legend’s second album was inspired by Pet Sounds… and even though many took inspiration from James Brown (including Mick Jagger), Mr. Brown himself arguably straight up jacked David Bowie. That said, Carlos Alomar DID play the riff on both songs, and it was said that the riff was constructed during his time with the JB’s (prior to his work with Bowie). So was it a straight jack? This is a debate that will probably go on until the end of time.
Metallica have not only sent clear nods to Sabbath, Budgie, Queen and Motorhead; they also were inspired by bands and artists such as Soundgarden, Alice In Chains and Tom Waits. Sonically they’ve also collectively looked to country, Motown (if you can call that a genre), blues, jazz and punk.
One band they haven’t seem to look to was the Kinks.
The Kinks are one of my favorite groups of all time. As major as they are, they still have fallen under the radar of the pantheon of great bands, in comparison to how many mention, in particular, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. The lyrics were a combination of stream of consciousness, self-awareness, straight-ahead cultural musings, class analysis, satire and biting sociopolitical commentary, giving them a bit more relatability than other pop contemporaries at the time.
James Hetfield (before introducing Ray Davies to the stage at Madison Square Garden in 2009) acknowledged that the band “got completely schooled… on early, early riff rock.” He called the Kinks “one of the original punks.” Interestingly… despite being a punk kid, my favorite stuff from the Kinks is the post-‘riff rock/punk’ stuff. They have great albums like Muswell Hillbillies, Arthur (Or The Decline And Fall Of the British Empire), Village Green Preservation Society, Something Else, Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One, and more.
(Side note: i actually met Ray Davies back in 1998 when he was making appearances for his album The Storyteller. i approached him, and he said, “Hi Sweetheart, how are you?” A lot of people had so much to say to him, asking about specific shows, songs or riffs. i was very shy, and there was a limited amount of time we could talk, so i just wrote down a few questions on a paper and handed it to him, then left. i have no idea if he ever read the questions, or if he thought the questions were any good. He may have just laughed at them.)
In 2010 Davies released See My Friends (obviously titled after a Kinks song), a collaborative effort covering his music. It featured Alex Chilton, Lucinda Williams, Jon Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Jackson Browne and more… including a collaboration with Metallica- ‘You Really Got Me’.
Which is what i do here. It’s very clear Metallica took more of the Van Halen approach when they covered the song. However, despite knowing that version and hearing it a whole bunch of times over the years i am much more familiar with the OG…. so i did make the drums less ‘metal’ than Lars.
i have been vegan for over half my life (28 years) and i absolutely love ‘Of Wolf And Man’. It’s probably as simple as being a song about a dude who turns into a werewolf; on a deeper level (because that’s just what i do) i do think it’s a continuation that was had on the Justice album (if not directly) in regards to how humans mess things up, and how we should regard the ‘natural world’ as being part of ourselves. The Earth is a gift (as is mentioned in the song); let’s stop disrespecting her.
My favorite part of the song though: NOSE TO THE WIND. i don’t even care. It always makes me think of nose boops.
i did my attempt at honoring Lars by doing some take on the great ‘Wolf And Man’ fill he does. it’s one of my favorite fills on The Black Album. i still don’t understand the Lars hate, man.
And finally, we have what is one of my favorite Metallica songs of all time, ‘Lords Of Summer’. It’s one of a handful of songs where they reference themselves (‘King Nothing’, ‘Unforgiven II’ and ‘St. Anger’ being three top ones); it’s also a song, like ‘Death Is Not The End’ or ‘Vulturous’, where they’ve worked on in various incarnations. However, unlike those two it actually got an official release. As much as it would have been an excellent addition to the (also excellent) Hardwired… To Self-Destruct; i think it would have taken away from the somber theme of the album. Having this be an extra track on the CD edition (and side E on the vinyl edition) was to me, a wise choice.
Imagine hearing this song for the first time- which is what happened in Bogotá, Colombia on March 16, 2014. It was the unfinished version, but it was no less powerful.
While i’m still my own biggest critic (and while i make a few obvious mistakes here) i KNOW i’m getting better at drumming, because i actually got through this song. i tried this song a few months ago, and couldn’t even get through the first verse. Also, i know the song would sound better with double kick, but you already know…
There are a lot of songs that make me think of animals. A lot of Metallica songs make me think of cats (which is probably why i love the band so much). This song though, makes me think of seals. i’m not sure why, but it’s definitely okay with me. i absolutely love seals.
(Also, if you don’t know what e-drums sound like to people not playing them, you can see at the beginning. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…)
So… wow. i have a lot of feelings around James Hetfield’s recent comments in Brazil. Every week on these ‘Metallica Fridays’ posts i talk about ‘getting out of my head’ and learning to embrace my mistakes as a way of further understanding the journey… and here he is at the age of 58, openly discussing his anxieties and insecurities around no longer being able to play in the same ways he once did. i wrote my feelings on his speech here; one thing i did not say though, is that if his concerns are around not being able to play well, many would absolutely disagree. There are many who have had harsh critiques for the band for years, who are coming out and saying they’ve been playing better than ever. While none of us could ever know the full extent of what James Hetfield is going through, one thing we can all say is that, unless something happens to really affect his motor skills (God willing that does not happen), he is in no danger of putting on no less of a great performance.
As private a person as he is, being open in where he’s at mentally is significant in that his words may have saved someone’s life- including his own. As a person who lives with depression, his words around mental health (as well as the Load, ReLoad and St. Anger albums specifically) always resonate with me.
i’ve said this elsewhere, and i’ll say it again here: i think 58-year old James Hetfield is cool. And i’m sure at 59, 60 and beyond he will be just as cool.
Don’t let the demons take hold of the Heaven in your head…
Doing the posts for this site- and the Metallica posts specifically- have been helping me pull through the struggle in many ways: the struggles of this ‘new’ life as an amputee; the struggle of learning not to be as frustrated with my mistakes; of learning to let go. The struggle of actually taking in new ways of listening to music. The music experience is very different as a person having to learn how to play the songs, versus simply listening to it. And sometimes that is frustrating, because it seems like you can never get it ‘right’. The point SHOULD be though, that you are playing it in your own way, versus copying what you hear. Given that i am physically limited in how i, for instance, play drums, i have begun to find that i do have a particular style… and that is interesting to see. i just aim to be as respectful as possible to all artists. Even if it’s just me seeing these posts, i know that it’s helping. If others see these posts and it helps them, it’s even better.
…And since i mentioned the album earlier, i think we will start with ‘Attitude’, from ReLoad. It makes me laugh that people always get on Lars for that scene in Some Kind Of Monster (including Kirk and James), when he’s trying to counter the ‘stock’ (according to him) riff with a particular drum pattern… when dude is a MASSIVE fan of rhythmic illusions. As am i. All their albums have them. i’m not sure if it’s because of the few (in comparison to others) lessons he’s had over the years, so he has little technical knowledge, and sees these patterns in his head. Lars adding an extra beat (or coming in a half step beforehand) is very common, and learning how to play to Metallica songs throws off many a more ‘traditional’ drummer.
i will always love Lars for this. There is no one like him.
To me, ‘Attitude’ is an example of this. When i first heard the song i was like, ‘Whut? Wait. i…’ The difference between this song and some others is, Lars counts off on the 2, so you get a little help in knowing where to start. Some of the other songs just blast off, and you’re like, ‘Wait- is he starting on the 2 or the 3??!!’ i’m not that good at counting beats and measures (as y’all probably see with some of the glaring mistakes i’ve made in these posts- HA!), so i do it all by just listening to the song, and going there.
So i think the kick started (a little early) on the 1, and the snare/crash combination started at 2. Then when the song kicks in, it starts on 2. Is my count correct?
i mean, i play music but i’m not a musician. That’s probably safe to say.
All i know is that i’m glad Load and ReLoad exist. To me, those albums encompassed the ‘bigness’ of the Black Album sound, but in terms of subject matter and arrangement it was an evolution.
Here we return to what was my favorite Metallica album for 30 years- until Load knocked it out of that spot… Master Of Puppets! It amazes me that people so young can make such complex music. i highly doubt you would have had an album like Load, if Lars and James never approached Cliff Burton. He was a major inspiration for the evolution in their sound. Would they have remained strictly a thrash or NWOBHM-inspired band, had they not met him? Would there have been just straight shredding for every single song? Perhaps. We will never know though. What we DO know (again) is that Cliff brought to the band some invaluable elements.
…Including the classic intros. Whether it’s ‘Damage Inc.’ (which i play to here), ‘Blackened’, ‘To Live Is To Die’, ‘Fight Fire With Fire’, ‘That Was Just Your Life’, ‘Fixxxer’ or other favorites… all of those are clear nods to Cliff Burton’s influence. So of course Cliff deserved the intro. After all, it’s him playing the intro.
Metallica definitely are one of the best in knowing how to sequence and bookend albums.
Aaaaaaaaand… even though ‘Blackened’ is my favorite Metallica song of all time, my current favorite song (because there is a difference) is ‘Trapped Under Ice’. ‘Trapped’ was one of my wishes for the 40th shows- AND THEY DID IT. i lost my voice as a result, screaming so loud as those opening chords played, then singing along.
This song involves one of my least favorite things in the whole world- being cold, and one of my greatest fears- being trapped. Snow is one of my top ten favorite things in the whole world, but i absolutely hate being cold. i have also been trapped before. One of my top 3 greatest fears in the whole world was also being hit by a truck, and i actually survived that. Can i survive being trapped under ice? i doubt it.
The bass (unsurprisingly) was recorded so low so i had to figure out for myself how to play it, without any cues from Mr. Burton. i played a bunch of root notes (of course!), and added a bit of harmony. i did end up seeing a few bass covers of the song- most covers of this song are on guitar- but every single person played it their own way, playing mostly with the guitar. My guess is that it’s because you can hardly hear the original, unless you remixed it to make the bass louder (which is what i actually did with ‘Damage Inc.’).
A block of ice made a guest appearance here… They never left their name though.
Every time i do these posts i get a weekly reminder to get out of my own head. i make a ton of mistakes, but that is what happens when you are learning. i have to remember that i am also getting better. That goes for my experience in using the prosthetic, as well as playing music.
i love watching better players than me cover Metallica. As professionals (or at least people with some level of expertise) they are able to capture the nuances, way more than i can. They can properly do the double kick of ‘One’, ‘Fight Fire With Fire’ or ‘Hero Of The Day’. They understand the mechanics of a b-bender, or they effortlessly play the perfect trills on a precision bass. While i am not there yet, i know the music enough to play with a particular feeling, as opposed to the exact technical ability.
As i keep saying, the fact that i even took that next step to even attempt to play their music is a huge personal deal.
In playing drums, i also clearly understand one ting more and more: the relationship Lars has with James, as players. It becomes so clear how much Lars follows the rhythm guitar, and vice versa. It’s pretty hard to focus (especially during the live performances) when the lead is playing, so i have to focus extra hard on what the rhythm and bass are doing.
One of the bigger examples of this is ‘Battery’. When Kirk plays the solo i had to focus on James. i also love the dynamic between the band in that, when one of them is behind or out front, they easily catch up through particular cues. People tend to take issues with Kirk’s improvisation during shows (‘Why does he never play the solo like the album’ and so forth); and while it seems as if he’s in his own world (and sometimes makes mistakes) the man catches up, and is on time.
i remember being 15 years old and wanting nothing more than to see ‘Battery’. On the encore of the December 3, 1991 show in Buffalo, NY i got my wish. i really hope that it is something i see again, before i leave this earth. They are playing it more album speed these days, but the song is no less powerful. As with many of the older songs, i love the mature readings of them. The band has long since (except for Lars) left the Bay Area, but the spirit of Battery Street lives on forever.
The Seattle ’89 show is beloved, and is usually at the pinnacle of favorite shows in the Metallica fan community. However, this show is not in my top 3. The May 31, 2015 show in Munich (Germany), The 40th Anniversary shows, and the Metal Hammer show in 1985 are. The screams James gives out during ‘Battery’ though (from the Seattle show, which i am playing to here) makes the song one of my favorite live ones of all time.
Just like with ‘Blackened’ i wanted to challenge myself in terms of speed. This song is not easy to play, especially with the the time shifts. Playing that live? Whoo boy.
i came in a bit late after the break and rushed a bit, but got caught up. The thing i am most happy with is that i got the fill (without the double kick, obviously) before the final chorus. That fill is my favorite fill of Lars’ of all time. i also (subconsciously) added in another Lars’ type fill. Guess where that one is!
Many many posts ago i played to the OG ‘Green Hell’ (one of my two favorite Misfits songs). This time i’m playing to Metallica’s cover, which is slightly faster, as well as having different lyrics. My other wish before i leave this earth is that they SERIOUSLY play ‘Run To The Hills’ in full, instead of always messing around and playing the wrong notes on purpose (like they do at the end of Garage Days, as well as during live performances). The opening riff to that song is my favorite metal riff of all time; i don’t care how overplayed it is. Also, they have only played ‘Green Hell’ 11 times. i also hope, before i leave this earth, they play it alone, without Last Caress’- a song i’m not really that fond of.
Like Issac Hayes or Luther Vandross, Metallica takes a cover and makes it their own.
The St. Anger fanboi returns… It seems like more and more people are beginning to understand the greatness that is St. Anger, as the band is beginning to play other songs from it than ‘Frantic’ or the title track. They seem to be giving ‘Dirty Window’ some love, after the positive reception it received after the 40th anniversary show…. because they played it as well on this recent Sudamérica tour (in BRAZIL no less, where someone gave birth during ‘Enter Sandman’. Papa Het ended up calling the parents). They have played the song a total of 33 times. Obviously this gives me great joy, and hope that they will bring some more out.
‘Purify’ anyone?
The more i play to this music (mistakes and all), the more i appreciate this band.
